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Schools should be moved to the outskirts of cities. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this statement v.1

Schools should be moved to the outskirts of cities. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this statement v. 1
Some people believe that, studying in a private school is more beneficial for students rather than a public one. This essay discusses both views and gives my personal opinion. On the one hand, some people believe that private schools are better due to a limited amount of students in classes and therefore the education children receive is at a higher level. For instance, my cousin Nicoletta studied in a private school when she was young and her class was made of only 9 students. Her parents believed that, the lower the number of students in a class, the higher the attention that teachers have for their students. On the other hand, some families believe that, is more beneficial for their children to grow up surrounded by numerous classmates because it helps children to socialize and discover new cultures as the more children in a class, the more cultures involved. In addition, there is usually less homework in a public school rather than a private one and some people believe that, having more free-time is essential for young children rather than pass hours and hours doing homeworks. When I was young I use to have numerous classmates and some of them came from other countries, in addition I usually had a lot of free time. However, there are also many public institutes that effectively educate children, including giving them good quantities of homework. In conclusion, although many people think that, a private education is more beneficial than a public one, I believe that, there are many other parameters which can be used to choose if a school is ideal or not for a child. For example, if I have to choose a school for my son, I would first check some reviews online and take a tour in classes in order to personally evaluate whether the school is ideal for my son or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that, studying in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
one. This essay discusses both views and gives my personal opinion.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are better due to a limited amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and
therefore
the education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
receive is at a higher level.
For instance
, my cousin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nicoletta
studied in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
when she was young and her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
was made
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Her parents believed that, the lower the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, the higher the attention that teachers have for their students.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that, is more beneficial for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow up surrounded by numerous classmates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to socialize and discover new cultures as the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, the more cultures involved.
In addition
, there is
usually
less homework in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
one and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that, having more free-time is essential for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
rather
than pass hours and hours doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks
. When I was young I
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
have numerous classmates and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them came from other countries,
in addition
I
usually
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
free time.
However
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
institutes that
effectively
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, including giving them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quantities of homework.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
education is more beneficial than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
one, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other parameters which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to choose if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is ideal or not for a child.
For example
, if I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for my son, I would
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reviews online and take a tour in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in order to
personally
evaluate whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is ideal for my son or not.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Schools should be moved to the outskirts of cities. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this statement v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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