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in many countries more and more young people are leaving school but are unable to find jobs. What problems do you think youth unemployment causes for individual and for the society? what measures should be taken to reduce the level of unemployment among youngsters? v.1

in many countries more and more young people are leaving school but are unable to find jobs. What problems do you think youth unemployment causes for individual and for the society? what measures should be taken to reduce the level of unemployment among youngsters? v. 1
Unemployment rates are increasing in most of the nation, where graduates or post graduates are not getting jobs soon after their studies. This will result in several problems and there are several solutions for these problems. High dependency rate is one of the major problems that a country faces because of insufficient career options. If the youngsters are not self sufficient to meet their needs, they will become dependent on their parents. When the dependency rate increases, it affects the economy of a nation. The second problem caused by lack of job opportunities is a brain drain, where the county will lose its highly efficient manpower. The lack of job opportunities will persuade youngsters to leave the country in search of jobs. In addition, some of the youngsters remain idle and will lose their skill sets gradually. These are some of the problems that a nation will face. One of the possible solutions for the problems is that by creating new vacancies for upcoming youngsters. Governments can take initiatives to bring new projects for the development of a nation or can have trade relations with other nations to exchange human resources. Another solution is to reduce the retirement age of people. When the age of retirement reduces the number of vacancy increases for youngsters. Moreover, encouraging people to enrol for courses that help them to secure a job will reduce unemployment and thereby the problems. In conclusion, even though several problems can be caused by unemployment, it can be managed by proper measures by government and people.
Unemployment rates are increasing in most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, where graduates or post graduates are not getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
after their studies. This will result in several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and there are several solutions for these problems.

High dependency rate is one of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that a country faces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of insufficient career options. If the youngsters are not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self sufficient
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs, they will become dependent on their parents. When the dependency rate increases, it affects the economy of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
caused by lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities is a brain drain, where the county will lose its
highly
efficient manpower. The lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities will persuade youngsters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the country in search of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
In addition
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
youngsters remain idle and will lose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
sets
gradually
. These are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
will face.

One of the possible solutions for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is that by creating new vacancies for upcoming youngsters.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
can take initiatives to bring new projects for the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
or can have trade relations with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to exchange human resources. Another solution is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the retirement age of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. When the age of retirement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the number of vacancy increases for youngsters.
Moreover
, encouraging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to enrol for courses that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to secure a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
unemployment and thereby the problems.

In conclusion
,
even though
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be caused
by unemployment, it can
be managed
by proper measures by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay in many countries more and more young people are leaving school but are unable to find jobs. What problems do you think youth unemployment causes for individual and for the society? what measures should be taken to reduce the level of unemployment among youngsters? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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