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Sample TOEFL essay: Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v.2

Sample TOEFL essay: Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 2
There are many convinienve for people living in the big city, but I' d like to live in the small town. I can enjoy the advantages if I live in the small city. Because compared with the convinience between the major ones and small ones, I need the small palces to live, I will address my views there in after. To begin with, traffic problems in big city is the first obstacle. When I was in Shanghai where I spent 4 years of college life, I found the city is so huge that I would go to anywhere by subway. Meanwhile, It would cost me at least one hour in the train. The car was also full of people. While now I am working in my home town, a small city, I can drive to my company within half hour even if there is a traffic jam on the road. Also, sometimes I can take the new subway in my town. There are fewer people in the car. What' s more, because of the scale of my hometown is smaller compared with major city like Shanghai, both of the public buses and private cars are easy to take. I really Appriciate the mood when I was drving in my hometown because the sky is blue and more important the cars on the roads are much fewer than there are in Shanghai. In addition, the nature environment of small city is better than the big city. As the big city is the production of highly developed civilization and technology, there are often environmental problems broght by the prosperity. Or in other words, the pollution of the big city is another reason that I do not like to live there. In my hometown, as the moutains and rivers are well protected by government, the beatiful natural environment is the priceless treasure for the residents in this city. Every year there are over a hundred thousand travellers visit my hometown, some of them may just want to drink the spring from the moutain outside the town which they can not enjoy in the big city. Moreover, the air is nice and clean. I am proud of that in the mobile app-Air quality of China, my hometown is always ranking in the first five cities which have the best air quality. Finally, the living pressure is smaller if people live in the small city, compared with the big one. It is true that there are more opportunities in big city. I was applying for jobs in Shanghai when I graduated form my college, with more money I can earn, I was on much more pressure for a living. At first there was not much money if I paid for the rent of the room I lived in. Besides, the place I lived was far from my company in Shanghai. While as I returned to my hometown, I got a job easily and the company was closer to my home as I metioned I could go to my office within hal hour. WIth less salaries, my living pressure was much less than in Shanghai. In all, I believe there are lots of people would like to choose the big city to live for many reasons. But I would like to make a more meaningful life that I can take care of my parents as they are getting old. Also, the convinience of the small city benefits me a lot as I discussed.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
convinienve
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; d like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
. I can enjoy the advantages if I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
city.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
compared with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
convinience
between the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, I need the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
Possible spelling mistake found.
palces
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
, I will address my views there in after.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, traffic problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city is the
first
obstacle. When I was in Shanghai where I spent 4 years of college life, I found the city is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
huge that I would go to anywhere by subway. Meanwhile, It would cost me at least one hour in the train. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
was
also
full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While
The comma is probably missing here: "now, I".
now I
am working in my home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
city, I can drive to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
within half hour even if there is a traffic jam on the road.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
I can take the new subway in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
. There are fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
What&
#039; s more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the scale of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
is smaller compared with major city like Shanghai, both of the public buses and private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are easy to take. I
really
Possible spelling mistake found.
Appriciate
the mood when I was
Possible spelling mistake found.
drving
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the sky is blue and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the roads are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
fewer than there are in Shanghai.

In addition
, the nature environment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
city is better than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city is the production of
highly
developed civilization and technology, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
environmental problems
Possible spelling mistake found.
broght
by the prosperity. Or
in other words
, the pollution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city is another reason that I do not like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
there. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
, as the
Possible spelling mistake found.
moutains
and rivers are well protected by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
beatiful
natural environment is the priceless treasure for the residents in this city. Every year there are over a hundred thousand
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
visit my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to drink the spring from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
moutain
outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
which they can not enjoy in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city.
Moreover
, the air is nice and clean. I am proud of that in the mobile app-Air quality of China, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
is always ranking in the
first
five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which have the best air quality.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
pressure is smaller if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
city, compared with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
one. It is true that there are more opportunities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city. I was applying for jobs in Shanghai when I
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduated from".
graduated
form my college, with more money I can earn, I was on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more pressure for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
. At
first
there was not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
money if I paid for the rent of the room I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in.
Besides
, the place I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
was far from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in Shanghai. While as I returned to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a job
easily
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
was closer to my home as I
Possible spelling mistake found.
metioned
I could go to my office within
Possible spelling mistake found.
hal
hour.
Possible spelling mistake found.
WIth
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun salaries is countable.
less
salaries, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
pressure was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
less than in Shanghai.

In all, I believe there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a more meaningful life that I can take care of my parents as they are getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Also
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
convinience
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
city benefits me a lot as I discussed.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes

IELTS essay Sample TOEFL essay: Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
577 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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