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In many countries shops are open long hours every day of the week Discuss the positive or negative effect on the shopper and the local community v.2

In many countries shops are open long hours every day of the week Discuss the positive or negative effect on the shopper and the local community v. 2
Shopping malls stay open till late night in many places around the globe. This essay with discuss the pros and cons of this emerging trend on customers and society as a whole. Coming towards the benefits, firstly, it could be considered as convenient as people can visit and purchase items according to their ease at whichever time suits feasible tom them. This helps in maintaining the hectic work schedule everyone has to keep up with in today' s era. For instance, shopping centers in Beijing are open for customers 24/7 which allow them to buy goods at night as most of the people gets free at night. Secondly, it offers more business opportunities as instead of going to open specific large malls, people can buy necessities at their local centers. Additionally, as the work continues for more than one shift, it creates part-time jobs for more people such as students who have to attend classes during day time. Although this pattern has advantages, while on closer inspections we can find some drawbacks. First of all, it puts a burden on government as the services such as security and traffic regulation need to be working till required. These not only generates administrative issues but also the financial overload is transferred to local tax payers. For example, government taxation in Dubai is ten times more than in Saudi Arabia. Furthermore, disturbance generated in the busy parts deprives the society of comfort as children, for example, because of noises, cannot get enough relaxed sleep which leads to anxiety and other social problems. In conclusion, while convenience and business opportunities are the plus points to this phenomenon, it also holds negative aspects such as over-burdened government departments, and reduction in quality of life.
Shopping malls stay open till late night in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places around the globe. This essay with discuss the pros and cons of this emerging trend on customers and society as a whole.

Coming towards the benefits,
firstly
, it could
be considered
as convenient as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can visit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
items according to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
at whichever time suits feasible tom them. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in maintaining the hectic work schedule everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s era.
For instance
, shopping centers in Beijing are open for customers 24/7 which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
at night as most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
free at night.
Secondly
, it offers more business opportunities as
instead
of going to open specific large malls,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
necessities at their local centers.
Additionally
, as the work continues for more than one shift, it creates part-time jobs for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as students who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend classes during day time.

Although this pattern has advantages, while on closer inspections we can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it puts a burden on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as the services such as security and traffic regulation need to be working till required. These not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
generates administrative issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the financial overload
is transferred
to local tax payers.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
taxation in Dubai is ten times more than in Saudi Arabia.
Furthermore
, disturbance generated in the busy parts deprives the society of comfort as children,
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of noises, cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
relaxed sleep which leads to anxiety and other social problems.

In conclusion
, while convenience and business opportunities are the plus points to this phenomenon, it
also
holds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects such as over-burdened
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
departments, and reduction in quality of life.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay In many countries shops are open long hours every day of the week Discuss the positive or negative effect on the shopper and the local community v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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