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rt illustrates the expenditure on fish and different kinds of meat namely lamb, beef and chicken in a European region from 1979 to 2004. v.1

rt illustrates the expenditure on fish and different kinds of meat namely lamb, beef and chicken in a European region from 1979 to 2004. v. 1
Many people can afford to buy their personal car day by day in the developed countries. There are some advantages for personal comfort, however its drawbacks are common in the environment. This essay is going to demonstrate the most important thing is the environmental protection for all communities compared to for ones. It is clear that overcrowded public transport affect in a bad way to human's living standard. Thus, the people prefer buying automobile in order to travel more comfortably. Doubtless, the automobile transport is not only relaxing, also faster than public transport. Nevertheless, the rising number of cars impacts atmosphere with harmful gases, so air pollution has increased irreversibly. It would be a good example, a silent city named Gelibolu. This city's residents gave up their own car voluntarily to protect surroundings last decade. This is because pollutants have decreased, and they are appreciated to heritage to their children not an old car is useless, but clear air and the surroundings are deeply important. On the other hand, traffic jams are getting skyrocket in particularly in the wealth societies. The reason of this, clearly the high proportion of cars which could bought by everybody. Sometimes, it can be thought that individual opportunism can not inhibit, however the people are in the tendency thinking more about their future generation than owns. So, they never want to leave poor surroundings next generations. Consciously, everybody should be taken care about the environment, without personal care. In conclusion, I restate that buying an automobile has affected positively the individual's living quality, surroundings, especially reducing of the air pollution is more significant than it. In the other words, everybody should be aware and be respectful about habitat at least about themselves, the positives outnumber the disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
day by day in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for personal comfort,
however
its drawbacks are common in the environment. This essay is going to demonstrate the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is the environmental protection for all communities compared to for ones.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that overcrowded public transport affect in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way to human's living standard.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer buying automobile in order to travel more
comfortably
. Doubtless, the automobile transport is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
relaxing,
also
faster than public transport.
Nevertheless
, the rising number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
impacts atmosphere with harmful gases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
air pollution has increased
irreversibly
. It would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example, a silent city named
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gelibolu
. This city's residents gave up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
voluntarily
to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surroundings
last decade. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
pollutants have decreased, and they
are appreciated
to heritage to their children not an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is useless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
air and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surroundings
are
deeply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the other hand
, traffic jams are getting skyrocket in
particularly
in the wealth societies. The reason of this,
clearly
the high proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by everybody.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that individual opportunism can not inhibit,
however
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in the tendency thinking more about their future generation than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they never want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surroundings
next
generations.
Consciously
, everybody should
be taken
care about the environment, without personal care.

In conclusion
, I restate that buying an automobile has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
positively
the individual's living quality,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surroundings
,
especially
reducing of the air pollution is more significant than it. In the other words, everybody should be aware and be respectful about habitat at least about themselves, the positives outnumber the disadvantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay rt illustrates the expenditure on fish and different kinds of meat namely lamb, beef and chicken in a European region from 1979 to 2004. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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