Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

rising university fees and scarce employment prospect for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. to what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

rising university fees and scarce employment prospect for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. v. 1
There is no doubt that getting employed these days is more difficult for new graduates. Because of that, some people suggest that certain courses such as art, philosophy and history should be cancelled from higher education schools and to implement only practical subjects in order to raise the possibility of employment and overcome the increase in university tuition fees. I totally disagree with that opinion. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons behind my views. First of all, people have different interests in life. That is, some might like art and others might love math, which what keeps diversity alive in our society and closing those courses does not sound fair. For example, many famous philosophies and artists actually went into official courses in the university rather than self learning through practice only. Hence, keeping such classes available is crucial for certain people. Second of all, cancelling these subjects will cause more harm than good. To illustrate, all current employees and teachers in those departments will be out of their jobs if those courses were removed. In other words, wanting to increase the employment of new graduates cannot be dealt with by releasing all the current employees from their careers and passion. To sum up, stopping art, history and philosophy classes in order to increase the chance of employment does not sound right because it strips the community from diversity and does not appreciate the peoples' differences, as well as it causes de-employment of a group of people.
There is no doubt that getting employed these days is more difficult for new graduates.
Because
of that,
some
people
suggest that certain
courses
such as art, philosophy and history should
be cancelled
from higher education schools and to implement
only
practical subjects in order to raise the possibility of employment and overcome the increase in university tuition fees. I
totally
disagree with that opinion. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons behind my views.

First of all
,
people
have
different
interests in life.
That is
,
some
might like art
and others
might
love
math, which what
keeps
diversity alive in our society and closing those
courses
does not sound
fair
.
For example
,
many
famous
philosophies and artists actually went into official
courses
in the university
rather
than self learning through practice
only
.
Hence
, keeping such classes available is crucial for certain
people
.

Second of all, cancelling these subjects will cause more harm than
good
. To illustrate, all
current
employees and teachers in those departments will be out of their jobs if those
courses
were removed
.
In other words
, wanting to increase the employment of new graduates cannot
be dealt
with by releasing all the
current
employees from their careers and passion.

To sum up, stopping art, history and philosophy classes in order to increase the chance of employment does not sound right
because
it strips the community from diversity and does not appreciate the peoples' differences,
as well
as it causes
de-employment
of a group of
people
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay rising university fees and scarce employment prospect for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts