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Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. v.9

Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. v. 9
Some people believe that developed countries should open migration and work opportunities for skilled and educated people from third world countries, while others disagree with this opinion. The following essay will discuss the statement in details before stating my own opinion and drawing a rational conclusion. On the one hand, some experts think that developed countries should accept highly skilled people from underdeveloped countries. It is a fact that many developed countries such as Canada, Australia and New Zealand have a lacking of skilled workers and letting people come from underdeveloped countries to work in such countries would be beneficial for both parties. These developed countries have large natural resources but fewer population and hence they should welcome extra resources from other countries, especially poor countries who have a large population. Obviously, they need a lot of talented and educated people to boost their economic development, and one of the most effective ways is to open a migration path for skilled workers from third world countries. On the other hand, it is true that many developed countries have opened their doors to skilled immigrants these days. This fact has a cause a serious problem for many poor countries. Many of their knowledgeable and skilled people have migrated to advanced countries since they would get higher salaries, better benefits and safer political condition. As a result, these countries face difficulties in improving their economic conditions as they lack educated and skilled people. From a different perspective, the open immigration and work opportunity often increases the terrorism in first world countries which are evident from the recent world events. In conclusion, to a certain point, I would agree with the migration policy of some rich countries which accept skilled people from developing countries. However, I also believe that the policy should also be limited to a certain quota, therefore not all of the best people from the poor countries leave their nations. It is obvious that the poor countries also need their best people to develop their countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should open migration and work opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
and educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, while others disagree with this opinion. The following essay will discuss the statement in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
stating my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion and drawing a rational conclusion.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should accept
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It is a fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as Canada, Australia and New Zealand have a lacking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
workers and letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to work in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would be beneficial for both parties. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have large natural resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fewer population and
hence
they should welcome extra resources from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who have a large population.
Obviously
, they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
talented and educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to boost their economic development, and one of the most effective ways is to open a migration path for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
workers from third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
countries.

On the other hand
, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have opened their doors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
immigrants these days. This fact has a cause a serious problem for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of their knowledgeable and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have migrated to advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
since they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher salaries, better benefits and safer political condition.
As a result
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
face difficulties in improving their economic conditions as they lack educated and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. From a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective, the open immigration and work opportunity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
increases the terrorism in
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are evident from the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

In conclusion
, to a certain point, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the migration policy of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, I
also
believe that the policy should
also
be limited
to a certain quota,
therefore
not
Consider using "all the".
all of the
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their nations. It is obvious that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
also
need their best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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