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All children should study a foreign language, starting in the earliest grades. To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement? v.1

All children should study a foreign language, starting in the earliest grades. to this statement? v. 1
Learning a foreign language is very useful nowadays because all of ministries and companies really need the person who can speak, read, listen and write in other languages. Many people believe that enrolling their children to the English or other language school can help their children more clever and it might help them in the future. In our world, there are more than 4000 languages that have spoken by different natives or countries. But there are the top 5 languages that have been spoken by a lot of people in the world such as English, French, Mandarin, Hindi, Spanish. A large number of individuals consider that most of parents nowadays like to enrol their children to English school or Mandarin school. The numerous of schools also increase from days to days. Most of them are English and Mandarin school. For instance, in Cambodia, the number of students enrolled in young ages in the English school has more than 10000 students a year. It keeps increasing every year. However, it was said that enrolling the children in the foreign language school in the early grades might affect their children's native language. This could count as a concern too, because nowadays we can see that some of children cannot speak their native language at all. There are other people think if we want to enrol our children to another language school, we should make them learn their native language first. In conclusion, parents should let their children study another accent, but they also have to be aware about their children as if they can speak their native language yet. It might be easier if they study abroad but it will cause them the consequences if they can't speak their own language in own country. In my opinion, I think that enrolling your children to foreign language school is a good choice, but we should let them learn their own language first.
Learning a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Consider using "all ministries" or "all of the ministries".
all of ministries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
really
need the person who can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
, read, listen and write in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that enrolling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to the English or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more clever and it might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in the future.

In our world, there are more than 4000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
that have spoken by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natives
or countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are the top 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
that have
been spoken
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world such as English, French, Mandarin, Hindi, Spanish.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
individuals consider that
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the parents") or simply say "most parents".
most of parents
nowadays like to enrol their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or Mandarin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
The phrase 'The numerous of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'The' and 'of'.
The numerous of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
also
increase from days to days. Most of them are English and Mandarin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For instance
, in Cambodia, the number of students enrolled in young ages in the English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has more than 10000 students a year. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
increasing every year.

However
, it
was said
that enrolling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in the early grades might affect their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. This could count as a concern too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at all. There are other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if we want to enrol our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them learn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
first
.

In conclusion
, parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
study another accent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be aware about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as if they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
yet
. It might be easier if they study abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will cause them the consequences if they can't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that enrolling your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them learn their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
first
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay All children should study a foreign language, starting in the earliest grades. to this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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