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Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the workers more. Do you agree or disagree. v.4

Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the workers more. v. 4
Recent decades have witnessed an increase in the imported labour proportions, raising many questions of workers’ safety. Although the proposal that skilled workers should stay in their own developing country sounds reasonable, i think that developed countries need them more. Workers with professional competence could gain many benefits when moving to affluent countries. First, Expatriates in developed countries means better career prospects. This means that they could easily find a job with high remuneration and many benefits in kind, improving their living standards. Second, Working in developed nations is invariably associated with a liberty from the rigid laws and harsh social norms from the home country. For example, many homosexual individuals in Russia have a propensity to work in other European countries because sodomy means capital punishment. Third-world countries could benefit from allowing their skilled workers to work in other prosperous nations. First, Many skilled labourers from poor countries would be conducive to increase in the national incomes of the host country. This could be implied that this rich country would conduct some outsourcing investments in the poor country such as the establishment of educational institutions with professional training courses or medical institutions with skilled medical personnel, which promote the locals’ living standards. In addition, Sending the workers with high competence could act as an incentive for an improvement in the diplomatic relationship between the poor and the affluent countries. For instance, As many skillful Vietnamese have promoted the working productivity in the United States, Vietnam now has been the top priority when American conducts financial assistance programmes. In conclusion, I believe that third-world countries should send their professional workers to some developed countries for some advantages in terms of living standard improvement and economic development.
Recent decades have witnessed an increase in the imported
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
proportions, raising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers’
safety. Although the proposal that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
should stay in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
sounds reasonable,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
need them more.

Workers with professional competence could gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits when moving to affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
First
, Expatriates in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
means better career prospects. This means that they could
easily
find a job with high remuneration and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits in kind, improving their living standards. Second, Working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
nations is
invariably
associated with a liberty from the rigid laws and harsh social norms from the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
homosexual individuals in Russia have a propensity to work in other European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
sodomy means capital punishment.

Third-world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could benefit from allowing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to work in other prosperous nations.
First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
from poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would be conducive to increase in the national incomes of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This could
be implied
that this rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would conduct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
outsourcing investments in the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
such as the establishment of educational institutions with professional training courses or medical institutions with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
medical personnel, which promote the locals’ living standards.
In addition
, Sending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
with high competence could act as an incentive for an improvement in the diplomatic relationship between the poor and the affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
skillful Vietnamese have promoted the working productivity in the United States, Vietnam
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has been the top priority when American conducts financial assistance
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.

In conclusion
, I believe that third-world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages in terms of living standard improvement and economic development.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the workers more. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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