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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.9

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 9
There’s no doubt that in the modern World poorer countries dealing with a lot of problem than rich nations. While some people believes that, modern countries should prevent a lot of thinks also only financal support will be not enough for them, others argues that, the money can solve any problem and rich countries could focus their areas. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the arguements and explain my support for the former view. Nowadays, countries who have not enough money suffering more problems than others. For example, in these countries they can not access medical systems well and even when they are not suffering any bad disease, it can be still dangerous for them, such as flu because of their health systems. To solve this problems richer countries can help them. For instance, if rich nations prevent health than the countries who have not enough money will not suffer this problem anymore. In other words, some people believe money can solve any problem. However, the experience of using money is so important like this situations. For instance, even if they reach the money, when they do not have any profession for any problem they will only lose money for nothing. Furthermore, the money does not provide experience, however experience does. If modern countries prevent a pathway for poorer nations, these countries could use this money effectively. In conclusion, although money can solve some problems, however, in my opinion, money will not enough for poorer countries. The countries who have enough money, should prevent to poor nations professionals and pathways with money.
There’s no doubt that in the modern World poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
dealing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
than rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake found.
financal
support will be not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
for them, others argues that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could focus their areas. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
arguements
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my support for the former view.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
suffering more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
than others.
For example
, in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
they can not access medical systems well and even when they are not suffering any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
disease, it can be
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for them, such as flu
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their health systems. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.
For instance
, if rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
health than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will not suffer this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
anymore.

In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
However
, the experience of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
like
Did you mean "these"?
this
situations.
For instance
, even if they reach the
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money
, when they do not have any profession for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for nothing.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
does not provide experience,
however
experience does. If modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
a pathway for poorer
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nations
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
effectively
.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
however
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
for poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
professionals and pathways with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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