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Rich countries are getting richer while poor countries are getting poorer. What is the cause of this? What could be done to solve this problem? v.3

Rich countries are getting richer while poor countries are getting poorer. What is the cause of this? What could be done to solve this problem? v. 3
The gap between the wealthy countries and poor countries has been widening ever since. This is occurring because of the fact that rich countries enjoy technological advances, but underdeveloped nations have no access to them. However, multiple organizations and some nations have been taking steps to reduce this gap. The foremost cause for the drift is the technological advances and industrialization in multiple sectors, which poor countries cannot afford. For instance, the third world nations are still dependent on the traditional methods of agriculture and as a result, they harvest fewer crops per square meter. On the other hand, developed countries do not face such issues. Another major cause is the low Human Development Index because of low life expectancy, per capita income etc. The major focus of such economies is to stabilize themselves instead of spending resources on education, employment, research etc. , which in turn will pay back the nation. In contrast, the developed countries have prominent resources to spend on the sectors, which helps them to boost the economy further. There have been efforts to reduce this economic drift in the world. The most prominent one is that the globe has established multiple organizations such as World Bank, World Health Organization etc. , to help the poor countries in times of need. For instance, WHO is raising funds for the mid day meal scheme in India to promote education. Secondly, the privileged countries can promote their students to volunteer in underdeveloped nations. This will inspire the people from poor countries to try endlessly to raise their standard of living and to pursue their dreams. The encouraged population of a country, even with lesser means, can do wonders. In conclusion, the developed countries are using expertise to help their population, but the underdeveloped ones are still struggling to provide their communities with better living conditions. To diminish the gap between the rich and poor countries, collective measures from the global organizations, the governments of both the developed and underdeveloped countries and the human population, are needed.
The gap between the wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has been widening ever since. This is occurring
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
enjoy technological advances,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have no access to them.
However
, multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have been taking steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this gap.

The foremost cause for the drift is the technological advances and industrialization in multiple sectors, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
cannot afford.
For instance
, the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are
still
dependent on the traditional methods of agriculture and
as a result
, they harvest fewer crops per square meter.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not face such issues. Another major cause is the low Human Development Index
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of low life expectancy, per capita income etc. The major focus of such economies is to stabilize themselves
instead
of spending resources on education, employment, research etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
which in turn will pay back the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have prominent resources to spend on the sectors, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to boost the economy
further
.

There have been efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this economic drift in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. The most prominent one is that the globe has established multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Bank,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Organization
etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in times of need.
For instance
, WHO is raising funds for the
This word is normally spelled as one.
mid day
meal scheme in India to promote education.
Secondly
, the privileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can promote their students to volunteer in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. This will inspire the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to try
endlessly
to raise their standard of living and to pursue their dreams. The encouraged population of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, even with lesser means, can do wonders.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are using expertise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their population,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
underdeveloped
ones are
still
struggling to provide their communities with better living conditions. To diminish the gap between the rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, collective measures from the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and the human population,
are needed
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Rich countries are getting richer while poor countries are getting poorer. What is the cause of this? What could be done to solve this problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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