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Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measures can be done to address those problem? v.3

Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measures can be done to address those problem? v. 3
In recent decades, wealth inequality has been receiving a great deal of public attention due to its substantial impacts on society. Although the problems associated with this situation can be pronounced, they are not without solutions. There are a number of problems caused by wealth inequality. First, since the rich become richer and the poor become poorer, there will be more and more people cannot make ends meet, or even do not have a job. If the number of unemployed workers increases, there would be more crime cases as these people have to break the law just to make a living. Second, by possessing most of the wealth, rich people have the power to manipulate politicians, or even lawmakers, to impose laws in favour of them at the expense of poor ones. For example, plenty of evidence suggests that real estate companies and private banks in Vietnam have even gotten richer with the policies made by Vietnam government. Nevertheless, there are various solutions to tackle the problems. One of the best solutions is that governments should impose higher tax rates on the rich. The revenue collected can be invested in building infrastructure, such as hospitals and new roads, creating better condition for the majority of people. In addition to tax policies, authorities could provide free education to give equal opportunities for all people. For instance, in Canada, the gap between the rich and poor has greatly been narrowed thanks to their free education policy. In conclusion, even though wealth inequality can cause a whole host of issues, there are still many practical solutions. By providing free education and changing tax policies, governments can create a fairer society.
In recent decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
inequality has been receiving a great deal of public attention due to its substantial impacts on society. Although the problems associated with this situation can
be pronounced
, they are not without solutions.

There are a number of problems caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
inequality.
First
, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
become richer and the poor become poorer, there will be more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
, or even do not have a job. If the number of unemployed workers increases, there would be more crime cases as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
break the law
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living. Second, by possessing most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the power to manipulate politicians, or even lawmakers, to impose laws in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of them at the expense of poor ones.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of evidence suggests that real estate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and private banks in Vietnam have even gotten richer with the policies made by Vietnam
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Nevertheless
, there are various solutions to tackle the problems. One of the best solutions is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should impose higher tax rates on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
. The revenue collected can
be invested
in building infrastructure, such as hospitals and new roads, creating better condition for the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
to tax policies, authorities could provide free education to give equal opportunities for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, in Canada, the gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and poor has
greatly
been narrowed
thanks to their free education policy.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
inequality can cause a whole host of issues, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
practical solutions. By providing free education and changing tax policies,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can create a fairer society.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measures can be done to address those problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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