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Reducing global environmental damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. How far do you agree or disagree? v.4

Reducing global environmental damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. How far v. 4
It is believed by some that the government is mainly responsible for dealing with environmental degradation. Conversely, other argue that the problem in question concerns individuals as well. In my opinion, there is clear evidence that the environment is gradually affected by pollution, hence, I think that both the government and individuals must come up with long-term solutions to halt environmental damage. On the one hand, no matter how despised the government of a country might be, it still represents an influential authority. It is of paramount importance for the government to draw up well-defined and strict policies with regard to combatting global environmental destruction. Furthermore, international cooperation between governments is likely to contribute significantly in reducing pollution. The government members are usually public figures. Therefore, they should take advantage of this in order to promote ways of maintaing the planet pollution-free as much as possible and to raise awareness among the population of the negative effects a polluted environment can have upon biodiversity and mankind. For example, the government could offer greater incentives so as to encourage people to use renewable energy in greater amounts. On the other hand, some people frequently neglect the environment. Although a human being is able to survive without food and water for a certain period of time, lack of oxygen and consequently lack of clean air which allows breathing will eventually lead to death. One effective measure the population ought to take is to walk or travel by human-powered vehicles whenever they can instead of driving. By doing this, they would considerably reduce their greenhouse gas footprints. In addition, people should avoid buying products whose packaging is made of non-biodegradable materials. To conclude, even though I acquiesce that the government has a prime duty to fight against environmental degradation, I strongly believe that major contribution from individuals is mandatorily needed so that Earth' s natural can be preserved properly.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
mainly
responsible for dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
degradation.
Conversely
, other argue that the problem in question concerns individuals
as well
. In my opinion, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
evidence that the environment is
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by pollution,
hence
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with long-term solutions to halt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
damage.

On the one hand, no matter how despised the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of a country might be, it
still
represents an influential authority. It is of paramount importance for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to draw up well-defined and strict policies with regard to
Possible spelling mistake found.
combatting
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
destruction.
Furthermore
, international cooperation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
is likely to contribute
significantly
in reducing pollution.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
members are
usually
public figures.
Therefore
, they should take advantage of this in order to promote ways of
Possible spelling mistake found.
maintaing
the planet pollution-free as much as possible and to raise awareness among the population of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects a polluted environment can have upon biodiversity and mankind.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could offer greater incentives
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
renewable energy in greater amounts.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
frequently
neglect the environment. Although a human being is able to survive without food and water for a certain period of time, lack of oxygen and
consequently
lack of clean air which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
breathing will
eventually
lead to death. One effective measure the population ought to take is to walk or travel by human-powered vehicles whenever they can
instead
of driving. By doing this, they would
considerably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their greenhouse gas footprints.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should avoid buying products whose packaging
is made
of non-biodegradable materials.

To conclude
,
even though
I acquiesce that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has a prime duty to fight against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
degradation, I
strongly
believe that major contribution from individuals is
Possible spelling mistake found.
mandatorily
needed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Earth&
#039; s natural can
be preserved
properly
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Reducing global environmental damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. How far v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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