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Recently we are facing increasing number of cars, which poses a great threat to the pedestrians and cyclists. What’s more, a lot of parks need to be sacrificed as a result of the construction of railways and superhighways. Do you agree or disagree? Wha v.2

Recently we are facing increasing number of cars, which poses a great threat to the pedestrians and cyclists. What’s more, a lot of parks need to be sacrificed as a result of the construction of railways and superhighways. Wha v. 2
In recent years, it is unquestionable that the development of global economy and high tech has been variably associated with numerous severe social issues. Ever-increasing number of cars commuting on streets and the constructions of railways and superhighways are the two emerging problems. These, of course, cause a lot of troubles to residents, thereby, plausible approaches need to be made to solve these problems once and for all. Firstly, great threats to pedestrians and cyclists can be seen from the growth of number of cars. With huge sizes, cars always occupy a lot space in the parking lot or pavements, which creates the feeling of uncomfort and inconvenience to pedestrians. More importantly, drivers may cause injury to pedestrians incidentally when they move their cars out of the pavements since both of them fail to watch their way carefully. With regard to cyclists, a high volume of cars travelling on streets makes them find it hard to watch out obstacles on streets, which in some cases lead to accidents. Therefore, to tackle these problems, I belive it is the government’s responsibility to reduce to amount of cars, perhaps by raising tax on cars. Also, government should provide intensive training courses for drivers before allowing them drive on streets, making travelling much safer. Secondly, the destruction of parks to pave a way to build infrastructure such as railways and superhighways is detrimental. Residents in these areas are without doubt affected since they no longer have a place of refreshment and entertainment. For example, children at tender ages who always long to take part in outdoor activities which also are considered vital for their physical and psychological development, now are confined in their apartments. Besides, sacrificing parks for building roads also result in air pollution since there are no trees left to absorb carbon-dioxide and gas emissions from vehicles travelling on a daily basis. Hence, it is imperative to adopt solutions in order to deal these issues. It is recommended that government and planners should have a suitable strategy towards these road constructions without destroying parks. In conclusion, the two aforementioned problems can all be solved effectively once governments adopt suitable solutions.
In recent years, it is unquestionable that the development of global economy and high tech has been
variably
associated with numerous severe social issues. Ever-increasing number of
cars
commuting on
streets
and the constructions of railways and superhighways are the two emerging
problems
. These,
of course
, cause
a lot of
troubles to residents, thereby, plausible approaches need to
be made
to solve these
problems
once and for all.

Firstly
, great threats to pedestrians and cyclists can be
seen
from the growth of number of
cars
. With huge sizes,
cars
always occupy
a lot space
in the parking lot or pavements, which creates the feeling of
uncomfort
and inconvenience to pedestrians. More
importantly
, drivers may cause injury to pedestrians
incidentally
when they
move
their
cars
out of the pavements since both of them fail to
watch
their way
carefully
. With regard to cyclists, a high volume of
cars
travelling on
streets
makes
them find it
hard
to
watch
out obstacles on
streets
, which in
some
cases lead to accidents.
Therefore
, to tackle these
problems
,
I belive
it is the
government’s
responsibility to
reduce
to amount of
cars
, perhaps by raising tax on
cars
.
Also
,
government
should provide intensive training courses for drivers
before
allowing them
drive
on
streets
, making travelling much safer.

Secondly
, the destruction of parks to pave a way to build infrastructure such as railways and superhighways is detrimental. Residents in these areas are without doubt
affected
since they no longer have a place of refreshment and entertainment.
For example
, children at tender ages who always long to
take part
in outdoor activities which
also
are considered
vital for their physical and psychological development,
now
are confined
in their apartments.
Besides
, sacrificing parks for building roads
also
result in air pollution since there are no trees
left
to absorb carbon-dioxide and gas emissions from vehicles travelling on a daily basis.
Hence
, it is imperative to adopt solutions in order to deal these issues. It
is recommended
that
government
and planners should have a suitable strategy towards these road constructions without destroying parks.

In conclusion
, the two aforementioned
problems
can all
be solved
effectively
once
governments
adopt suitable solutions.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Recently we are facing increasing number of cars, which poses a great threat to the pedestrians and cyclists. What’s more, a lot of parks need to be sacrificed as a result of the construction of railways and superhighways. Wha v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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