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Recently, it is common for people not to know their neighbours. What is the cause for this problem? What can be done to solve this problem? v.3

Recently, it is common for people not to know their neighbours. What is the cause for this problem? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 3
Nowadays, many people are less interested in maintaining any friendly relation with their neighbours. The face to face interaction and the sense of brotherhood have been diminishing since the emergence of the sophisticated life and hi-tech culture. This essay will briefly look into some of its causes and suggest some solutions. Firstly, today’s young generations are well educated and they prefer to migrate to the metros for their livelihood because of this their neighbours are strangers to them. The majority of people do not show the interest to build a sudden relationship with strangers. Apart from this, the cultural and language difference is also a factor of concern when it comes to interaction among the neighbours. Moreover, people are so busy with their work schedule; most of them leave home early in the morning and reach late in the night so they generally do not have enough time to interact with the neighbours. Another reason is the addiction to electronic media. These days, many people spend much of their free time on social networking sites like Facebook and Instagram. However, this is an unhealthy development and may lead to various social and psychological problems. In order to tackle this, everyone should understand that their neighbours would be more helpful than their closest relatives in case of an emergency situation at their homes. People must reduce the usage of social media, which are full of virtual friends and should rather focus on building harmonious relation with their neighbours. People residing in metros should form some clubs to integrate with other people coming from the same state/region as they. In my own experience I have witnessed that in a funeral service in an apartment in a metro city there were hardly ten to fifteen people. Most of the neighbours in that housing colony were clueless about what happened in that home. To conclude, we should consider the fact that neighbours can be more helpful to us than our nearest relatives in certain situations and we must build good relation with them.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less interested in maintaining any friendly relation with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. The face to face interaction and the sense of brotherhood have been diminishing since the emergence of the sophisticated life and hi-tech culture. This essay will
briefly
look into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of its causes and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s young generations are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
and they prefer to migrate to the metros for their livelihood
because of this
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
are strangers to them. The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the interest to build a sudden relationship with strangers. Apart from this, the cultural and language difference is
also
a factor of concern when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to interaction among the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy with their work schedule; most of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
home early in the morning and reach late in the night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
generally
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to interact with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. Another reason is the addiction to electronic media. These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend much of their free time on social networking sites like Facebook and Instagram.

However
, this is an unhealthy development and may lead to various social and psychological problems. In order to tackle this, everyone should understand that their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
would be more helpful than their closest relatives in case of an emergency situation at their homes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the usage of social media, which are full of virtual friends and should
rather
focus on building harmonious relation with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
residing in metros should form
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
clubs to integrate with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming from the same state/region as they.

In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience I have witnessed that in a funeral service in an apartment in a metro city there were hardly ten to fifteen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Most of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
in that housing colony were clueless about what happened in that home.

To conclude
, we should consider the fact that
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
can be more helpful to us than our nearest relatives in certain
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
situations and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relation with them.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Recently, it is common for people not to know their neighbours. What is the cause for this problem? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
339 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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