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Recently, it is not common for people to know their neighbours. What is the cause of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem? v.2

Recently, it is not common for people to know their neighbours. What is the cause of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 2
The way people interact each other has changed significantly in recent years. People used to have an intimate relationship with their neighbours in the past, however, it is becoming uncommon to socialise with them. This essay will aim to discuss the causes of the above mentioned issues and provide possible solutions. One of the reasons of this phenomenon can be correlated to changes in lifestyle. People had more time to spend on socialising with neighbours, supporting each other in case of an emergency. For example, people used to borrow ingredients from neighbours if they do not have enough to prepare a meal, or look after neighbours' children when one requires an assistance. However, this practice has been changed due to increased working hours and abundance of materials in modern society. People prefer to solve their own issues, rather than relying on neighbours, and avoid social interaction so that they can recover from stressful work. Thus, the modern lifestyle changed the pattern of socialisation among neighbours. Although people need less assistance from their neighbours owing to the abundance of goods, it is important to maintain a relationship to create a safe and friendly environment. To achieve this, some events should be organised so that local people can gather and get to know each other. For example, there are a few festivals across the year in my local community, which community members plan and carry out together. Within this process, local residents have an opportunity to interact with neighbours and an intimate relationship is promoted. While there are a variety of ways to solve this issue, organising local events is one of the ways to promote socialisation among neighbours. In conclusion, the level of social interaction has been decreased due to the busy lifestyle and people requiring less aid from others in this modern society. Nonetheless, a safe community environment requires some extent of relationships among local residents, and organising some social events is one way of solving this issue.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interact each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
significantly
in recent years.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have an intimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
in the past,
however
, it is becoming uncommon to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with them. This essay will aim to discuss the causes of the above mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and provide possible solutions.

One of the reasons of this phenomenon can
be correlated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in lifestyle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
had more time to spend on
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
with
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
, supporting each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in case of an emergency.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to borrow ingredients from
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
if they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to prepare a meal, or look after
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
' children when one requires an assistance.
However
, this practice has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
due to increased working hours and abundance of materials in modern society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
prefer to solve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
,
rather
than relying on
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
, and avoid social interaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can recover from stressful work.
Thus
, the modern lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the pattern of
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialisation' is British English.
socialisation
among
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need less assistance from their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
owing to the abundance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
to create a safe and friendly environment. To achieve this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can gather and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
For example
, there are a few festivals across the year in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community, which community members plan and carry out together. Within this process,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents have an opportunity to interact with
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
and an intimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
is promoted
. While there are a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to promote
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialisation' is British English.
socialisation
among
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.

In conclusion
, the level of social interaction has
been decreased
due to the busy lifestyle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
requiring less aid from others in this modern society. Nonetheless, a safe community environment requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents, and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of solving this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Recently, it is not common for people to know their neighbours. What is the cause of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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