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Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. v.6

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. v. 6
Today’s society has been pressured into resolving numerous tough and sensitive issues that have become stronger and negatively affected to all people, especially the young generations who are living in the information and digital age without necessary control and permissions from their parents and teachers. It’s undeniable that families and schools play paramount roles in children development in their personalities and psychology, which forces the under 18-year-old to walk on the criminal road unless having it. Nevertheless, a host of considerable reasons in relation to the constantly changing society, technology and education system is also regarded as the big contribution to the climb in young criminals. The family is commonly considered as the most influential element on how a child is nourished and able to develop his characteristics in the future. However, there are more and more unexpectedly detrimental factors including parents-related relationship problems, unbeatably attractive modern gadgets and the hustle and bustle of the 21st-century lifestyles, which results in parents’ less concentration and proper education on their children. Additionally, the significantly increasing pressure on exam results stemming from the peers and the teachers at schools has been occupying most of the attention rather than emotional and psychological cares for the students. Children under the age of 18 in this century are really facing a wide variety of social and emotional problems than their early counterparts, but it seems that they are standing alone against to most of the negative impacts from the exam-oriented education system, the serious lack of teachers’ instructions and orientation on personal development. In conclusion, the rapid advancements in technology, the continuously changing living styles and the education systems discouraging individual and moral development together with deficiency in parents’ and teachers’ social and emotional teaching have been becoming some of the most concerned causes which lead the youngsters to be more violent and become criminals in the near future.
Today
’s society has
been pressured
into resolving numerous tough and sensitive issues that have become stronger and
negatively
affected
to all
people
,
especially
the young generations who are living in the information and digital age without necessary control and permissions from their parents and
teachers
. It’s undeniable that families and schools play paramount roles in children development in their personalities and psychology, which forces the under 18-year-
old
to walk on the criminal road unless having it.
Nevertheless
, a host of considerable reasons in relation to the
constantly
changing society, technology and
education
system is
also
regarded as the
big
contribution to the climb in young criminals.

The family is
commonly
considered as the most influential element on how a child
is nourished
and able to develop his characteristics in the future.
However
, there are more and more
unexpectedly
detrimental factors including parents-related relationship problems,
unbeatably
attractive modern gadgets and the hustle and bustle of the 21st-century lifestyles, which results in parents’ less concentration and proper
education
on their children.

Additionally
, the
significantly
increasing pressure on exam results stemming from the peers and the
teachers
at schools has been occupying most of the attention
rather
than emotional and psychological cares for the students. Children under the age of 18 in this century are
really
facing a wide variety of social and emotional problems than their early counterparts,
but
it seems that they are standing alone against to most of the
negative
impacts from the exam-oriented
education
system, the serious lack of
teachers’
instructions and orientation on personal development.

In conclusion
, the rapid advancements in technology, the
continuously
changing living styles and the
education
systems discouraging individual and moral development together with deficiency in parents’ and
teachers’
social and emotional teaching have been becoming
some
of the most concerned causes which lead the youngsters to be more violent and become criminals in the near future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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