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Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. v.3

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. v. 3
It appears that the youth crime rate in the modern world is increasing at an alarming rate. Although there may be many factors causing this issue, it is perceivable that the absence of suitable education provided by parents and teachers are the major problems behind this circumstance. This position will thus be analysed in the following paragraphs, supported by relevant examples. Firstly, parents' increasing occupational commitments have limited their opportunities to educate children on moral qualities. The current economic condition of the contemporary society requires parents to spend more time at work. This has consequently created fewer interactions between children and parents, precluding youngsters from learning basic emotional aspects such as love and affection from adults. An exemplary case can be seen from my cousin, who barely gets a chance to learn about a specific manner to talk to strangers or elderly people. Hence, it seems that such reality has disabled him to possess an ethical mindset, which might cause behavioural problems outside the home in the future. Secondly, the modern education system enforces students to obtain tangible achievements, rather than ethical perspectives. For instance, there was a girl in my high school who performed well academically. Although she frequently offended other classmates' feelings with foul words, she was continuously favoured by teachers because of her good grades. It is personally felt that such an inappropriate teaching motives of the teachers have left many students to focus on achieving material accomplishments, regardless of how badly one behaves. In conclusion, the two aforementioned ideas clearly encapsulate how the lack of solid and ethical supervisions by adults leaves children to develop problematic thoughts and behaviour.
It appears that the youth crime rate in the modern world is increasing at an alarming rate. Although there may be
many
factors causing this issue, it is perceivable that the absence of suitable education provided by parents and teachers are the major problems behind this circumstance. This position will
thus
be
analysed
in the following paragraphs, supported by relevant examples.

Firstly
, parents' increasing occupational commitments have limited their opportunities to educate children on moral qualities. The
current
economic condition of the contemporary society requires parents to spend more time at work. This has
consequently
created fewer interactions between children and parents, precluding youngsters from learning basic emotional aspects such as
love
and affection from adults. An exemplary case can be
seen
from my cousin, who
barely
gets
a chance to learn about a specific manner to talk to strangers or elderly
people
.
Hence
, it seems that such reality has disabled him to possess an ethical mindset, which might cause
behavioural
problems outside the home in the future.

Secondly
, the modern education system enforces students to obtain tangible achievements,
rather
than ethical perspectives.
For instance
, there was a girl in my high school who performed well
academically
. Although she
frequently
offended other classmates' feelings with foul words, she was
continuously
favoured
by teachers
because
of her
good
grades. It is
personally
felt that such an inappropriate teaching motives of the teachers have
left
many
students to focus on achieving material accomplishments, regardless of how
badly
one behaves.

In conclusion
, the two aforementioned
ideas
clearly
encapsulate how the lack of solid and ethical supervisions by adults
leaves
children to develop problematic thoughts and
behaviour
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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