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Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. . v.1

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. with this opinion? . v. 1
It is often believed by some that natural ability is needed to be successful in a sport activity. While others are of the opinion that working hard and training can yield similar result. I will examine both views and discuss why success based on either talent or hard work depends on the particular type sport. On the one hand, some argue that natural endowment is needed to excel in a particular game. As people we created with different qualities, thanks to our differences in our genetic make up. Therefore, in order to succeed in a sporting activity, you need to utilize those natural talents and physique to make a stand out performance. A good example is the serial Olympic gold medallist Usain bolt who has been a record breaker for several years in the 100 and 200 meters sprint race thanks largely to his tall and athletic body build up. Hence, all his dream wouldn't have come true if he were a dwarf. On the other hand, some believed that working hard and constant training can make a sportsman successful. It is a common knowledge and belief that repetition teaches the donkey. If an individual wants to excel at a top level, he or she has to commit more than others. This is exemplified by Cristiano Ronaldo, who is believed to be less talented than Lionel Messi but has won the same number of ballon d or. This surely has come due to his excessive and overzealous nature to become better day by day. Such attitude makes him to be the first to come the training ground and the last to leave. Thus, proving the old saying, “practice makes perfect”. In my opinion, being successful depends on the particular type of game. This means that while certain sports requires inherent ability others demand hard work to achieve success. A physically challenged individual can never achieve what a ussain bolt has accomplished over the years, so also Cristiano Ronaldo would never achieve greatness if he was a lazy footballer. In conclusion, while talent and hard work are needed to achieve success in a sport, some sports can't be conquered without natural capability while others need an individual to work on his talent before achieving success.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
ability
is needed
to be successful in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activity. While others are of the opinion that working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and training can yield similar result. I will examine both views and discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
based on either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
depends on the particular type sport.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
endowment
is needed
to excel in a particular game. As
The comma is probably missing here: "people, we".
people we
created with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
qualities, thanks to our differences in our genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
up.
Therefore
, in order to succeed in a sporting activity, you need to utilize those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
and physique to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a stand out performance. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is the serial Olympic gold
Possible spelling mistake. 'medallist' is British English.
medallist
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Usain bolt
who has been a record breaker for several years in the 100 and 200 meters sprint race thanks
largely
to his tall and athletic body build up.
Hence
, all his dream wouldn't have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true if he were a dwarf.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believed that working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and constant training can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a sportsman successful. It is a common knowledge and belief that repetition teaches the donkey. If an individual wants to excel at a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
, he or she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
commit more than others. This
is exemplified
by Cristiano Ronaldo, who
is believed
to be less talented than Lionel Messi
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has won the same number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ballon
d or. This
surely
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
due to his excessive and overzealous nature to become better day by day. Such attitude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
him to be the
first
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
the training ground and the last to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
.
Thus
, proving the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
saying, “practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
perfect”.

In my opinion, being successful depends on the particular type of game. This means that while certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
requires inherent ability others demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. A
physically
challenged individual can never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
what
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
ussain
bolt has accomplished over the years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
also
Cristiano Ronaldo would never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
greatness if he was a lazy footballer.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
are needed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can't
be conquered
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
capability while others need an individual to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. with this opinion? . v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
374 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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