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Reading is more educational than watching videos or TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Reading is more educational than watching videos or TV. v. 2
Sometimes it is argued that compared to watching television or internet videos, reading is better for greater learning outcomes. In my opinion, reading different materials can enhance many useful skills, therefore, I prefer reading over watching videos to gain information and knowledge. Reading is always a better option for educational purposes. Firstly, when we are reading, our brain demands greater concentration to analyse information that eventually enhances the cognitive function of the brain. Secondly, in order to gain knowledge on any topic, it is quite easier to source data from reading materials in terms of, books, magazines, websites, blogs, journal articles, newspapers so on and so forth. Finally, the more we read the more our verbal and writing skills get better. Hence, due to above reasons, I will always prefer reading than watching a video to make my understanding better on any domain. While watching videos on the internet or TV might be helpful, I still prefer not to use this medium for educational purposes. Most certainly, different online media and television are primarily serving the purpose of entertainment. Hence, most of the time it is quite distracting for many to be focused on one topic. For instance, when I watch any video online, the other suggestions of videos from my past search history keep popping up and make me lose focus on searching and getting stick to one topic. Furthermore, it is not so easy to find convenient learning materials via videos or television media. Therefore, due to these underlying causes, I prefer to use TV or online videos only for entertainment, not for educational usage. In conclusion, I can understand why many people prefer TV or other video-based materials for learning purposes, however, due to the above mentioned valid reasons, I strongly believe that reading is the best way for learning or obtaining knowledge.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it
is argued
that compared to watching television or internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
outcomes. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
can enhance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
therefore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
over watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
to gain information and knowledge.

Reading is always a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
option for educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
.
Firstly
, when we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, our brain demands greater concentration to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
information that
eventually
enhances the cognitive function of the brain.
Secondly
, in order to gain knowledge on any topic, it is quite easier to source data from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
in terms of, books, magazines, websites, blogs, journal articles, newspapers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.
Finally
, the more we read the more our verbal and writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
Hence
, due to above reasons, I will always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
than watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my understanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
on any domain.

While watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
on the internet or TV might be helpful, I
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this medium for educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
. Most
certainly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
online media and television are
primarily
serving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of entertainment.
Hence
, most of the time it is quite distracting for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to
be focused
on one topic.
For instance
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
online, the other suggestions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
from my past search history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
popping up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me lose focus on searching and getting stick to one topic.
Furthermore
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy to find convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
or television media.
Therefore
, due to these underlying causes, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
TV or online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for entertainment, not for educational usage.

In conclusion
, I can understand why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
TV or other video-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
,
however
, due to the above mentioned valid reasons, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is the best way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
or obtaining knowledge.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Reading is more educational than watching videos or TV. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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