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Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.19

Question: Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 19
Nowadays media plays an important role in our daily lives. Undoubtedly, both movies and television have had a great impact in our lifestyle. Some people believe that watching movies and shows can be a bad influence and have negative effects on young people' s behaviour. However, I disagree with that statement and believe that movies and television have positive effects. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore on the following essay. First of all, both television and movies can provide educational content for young people. Many television shows and movies have deep themes with important moral messages that youngster can learn from them. There are movies and shows that transmit stories of strong lead characters that although they experience many hardships, they are able to learn an important life lesson and become stronger. For example, Spirited Away is a movie about a young girl who founds herself trapped into another dimension with her parents. Chihiro was a spoiled girl that only cared about her desires at the beginning of the movie but in order to survive in that world and save her parents, she learnt to help other and she became a more independent, and selfless person. Furthermore, she met many people that supported her and helped her to endure the hard situation. At the end, she understood that she could only face challenges by being brave and having the support of others. Therefore, movies and television shows can provide educational content and children learn about morality and values through entertaining stories. In addition, watching television programmes or movies can be a relaxing acitivity that help youngsters to relieve stress. Young people and children can also feel stress and anxiety due to several reasons like schoolwork. Watching television or going to the cinema can help them to unwind and rest their minds for a few hours. For instance, when I was in high school I used to go to the movies with friends on friday nights after school. This activity helped us to get distracted for a few hours after a tiring week full of exams and homework. After a fun activity, our bodies would feel rested and relaxed. It is important for students to find time to get distracted from daily activities. Otherwise, they could become overwhelmed from all the school work and behave inappropiate due to the accumulated stress. In conclusion, I strongly believe that movies and television have more positive effects on young people behaviour. As long as young people set limits to the time they spent in front of a screen, watching both TV and movies can provide positive effects.
Nowadays media plays an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Undoubtedly
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
have had a great impact in our lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
However
, I disagree with that statement and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore on the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can provide educational content for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
have deep themes with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
moral messages that youngster can learn from them. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
that transmit stories of strong lead characters that although they experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hardships, they are able to learn an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
life lesson and become stronger.
For example
, Spirited Away is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
girl who founds herself trapped into another dimension with her parents.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chihiro
was a spoiled girl that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cared about her desires at the beginning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in order to survive in that world and save her parents, she
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
other and
she became a more independent, and selfless person.
Furthermore
, she met
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that supported her and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
her to endure the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
situation. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, she understood that she could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
face challenges by being brave and having the support of others.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
can provide educational content and children learn about morality and values through entertaining stories.

In addition
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can be a relaxing
Possible spelling mistake found.
acitivity
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
youngsters to relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and children can
also
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety due to several reasons like schoolwork. Watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
or going to the cinema can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to unwind and rest their minds for a few hours.
For instance
, when I was in high school I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
with friends on
Possible spelling mistake found.
friday
nights after school. This activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted for a few hours after a tiring week full of exams and homework. After a fun activity, our bodies would feel rested and relaxed. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for students to find time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted from daily activities.
Otherwise
, they could become overwhelmed from all the school work and behave
Possible spelling mistake found.
inappropiate
due to the accumulated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. As long as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
set limits to the time they spent in front of a screen, watching both TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
439 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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