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Do you agree or disagree with the statements. Children should not be allowed to play the video games? v.2

Children should not be allowed to play the video games? v. 2
Computer has changed the life of human. It has several pros and cons of it. Where few people believe that it is really useful, others think it is a bad influence on the current generation. Many people may agree that playing computer games is mere wastage of time, so kids should not be allowed to play the. As far as I am concerned I disagree with it and support effective utilization of this miracle tool known as computer game. First, the people who are against the video games might have come across the games that have got no educational attributes. Modern computer games have several features that can make learning easy for the early learners like toddlers and preschoolers. For instance, I allow my daughter to play the game called " Learn ABC" , in which she learns the formation of alphabet with the help of several dots and cute animals that guide her how to make the letter formation. Apart from this, many games are based on the phonics that teaches the sound of the letter to the kids. Recently I was teaching to my son about the phonics but he seemed uninterested by the way of my traditional teaching. Ultimately I installed this phonics game, and to my surprise my three years old son was telling me the right sounds of the letter. I strongly endorse this fun way of learning called video games. Now my son can not only make the sound of the letters but also can read all the small words with no difficulty. Last, I agree that few parents are against such apps or games considering that few children engage themselves fully in the games and not in studies. Restricting the game hours can be the solution but they should not be completely disconnected from the game world considering its benefits. For example, I was reading an article in The Journal of Neuroscience according to that computer games help in improving memory and better coordination skills. Many games challenge kids in which they have to complete the target in stipulated time. During the play the kids use their brain, eyes and hand coordination. It acts as brain booster to them. Each tool has got its pros and cons but it' s upon you to use it effectively. Like the knife can be used to cut the vegetables and it can also cut the throats of the human. Based on the arguments explored I am of the opinion that if used with caution and care computer games can be effective tool for the early learning of the alphabet, numbers and phonics. Moreover it can work as an exercise for the brain. All in all, I support that children should be allowed to play the video games but of specific kind and for restricted time.
Computer has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the life of human. It has several pros and cons of it. Where few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is
really
useful, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is mere wastage of time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
Did you forget something after 'the'?
the.
As far as I
am concerned
I disagree with it and support effective utilization of this miracle tool known as computer game.

First
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are against the video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
might have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
no educational attributes. Modern computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have several features that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
learning easy for the early learners like toddlers and preschoolers.
For instance
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
my daughter to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
the game called
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; Learn
Possible spelling mistake found.
ABC&quot
;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
in which she learns the formation of alphabet with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of several dots and cute animals that guide her how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
formation.

Apart from this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are based
on the phonics that teaches the sound of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. Recently I was teaching to my son about the phonics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he seemed uninterested by the way of my traditional teaching.
Ultimately
I installed this phonics game, and to my surprise my three years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
son was telling me the right sounds of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letter
. I
strongly
endorse this fun way of learning called video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
my son can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the sound of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can read all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
words with no difficulty.

Last, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that few parents are against such apps or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
considering that few children engage themselves
fully
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and not in studies. Restricting the game hours can be the solution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should not be completely disconnected from the game world considering its benefits.
For example
, I was reading an article in The Journal of Neuroscience according to that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in improving memory and better coordination
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
challenge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in which they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
complete the target in stipulated time. During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their brain, eyes and hand coordination. It acts as brain booster to them.

Each tool has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
its pros and cons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s upon you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
effectively
. Like the knife can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the vegetables and it can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the throats of the human. Based on the arguments explored I am of the opinion that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
with caution and care computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be effective tool for the early learning of the alphabet, numbers and phonics.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
it can work as an exercise for the brain. All in all, I support that children should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
the video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
of specific kind and for restricted time.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Children should not be allowed to play the video games? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
469 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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