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QUE: Government should spend money on railways rather than road. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. v.1

QUE: Government should spend money on railways rather than road. with this statement. v. 1
While many argue that the council should invest in building roads, others argue that investing in railways is a better investment. This essay supports that developing railways will bring pivotal enhancements in life as it promotes public transport and prevents pollution. Investing in public transport is always considered as a predominant factor for any nation building. This is because, it enables and empowers every class of people in society to reach their destinations for job or business purpose. To exemplify, the Mumbai government invested heavily in the metro rail project which helps to cover a distance of 30 kilometres in 20 minutes which earlier used to take 2 hours by road. As a consequence, now large amount of people commute to work by this mode, saving a huge amount of money and time. Trains also helps us to reduce the carbon footprint left by humans. Nowadays, mostly trains are electronic and do not use fossil fuels, which are generally used in cars. Moreover, trains can carry a huge number of people simultaneously, which reduces the frequency of to and fro required for a vehicle. As a result, there will be a large amount of people travelling with less pollution. For Example, Previously in Mumbai only, The Government built road and ran buses on the same route on which they built metro however, all these buses were running on diesel and each bus used to carry approximately 50 people, implies they required more buses and it reduced the air quality index and created traffic congestion. In Conclusion, Although many advocates that Government should pay attention to the improvement of roads, trains should be given priority as it creates huge positive impact on not only citizens but also on the environment.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that the council should invest in building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, others argue that investing in railways is a better investment. This essay supports that developing railways will bring pivotal enhancements in life as it promotes public transport and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
pollution.

Investing in public transport is always considered as a predominant factor for any nation building. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it enables and empowers every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society to reach their destinations for job or business purpose. To exemplify, the Mumbai
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
invested
heavily
in the metro rail project which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to cover a distance of 30
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
in 20 minutes which earlier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to take 2 hours by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. As a consequence,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commute to work by this mode, saving a huge amount of money and time.

Trains
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the carbon footprint
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
by humans. Nowadays,
mostly
trains are electronic and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
fossil fuels, which are
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in cars.
Moreover
, trains can carry a huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
simultaneously
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the frequency of to and fro required for a vehicle.
As a result
, there will be a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling with less pollution.
For Example
, Previously in Mumbai
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
built
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
and ran buses on the same route on which they built metro
however
, all these buses were running on diesel and each bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to carry approximately 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, implies they required more buses and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the air quality index and created traffic congestion.

In Conclusion
, Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advocates that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should pay attention to the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, trains should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priority as it creates huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on the environment.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay QUE: Government should spend money on railways rather than road. with this statement. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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