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QUE: Government should spend money on railways rather than road. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. v.2

QUE: Government should spend money on railways rather than road. with this statement. v. 2
It is true that there is a huge gap between the money spent on building railways and the resources spent on roads for the benefit of the latter, especially in the developing world. In addition, there are also massive advertising campaigns promoting beautiful cars and hence contributing to the development of roads. In my opinion, the governments should significantly increase financing of the railroad construction as well as expand the railways' nets across their countries. Firstly, increasing the number of the railways will contribute to the better ecology of our planet. While trains use more electricity than any other non-renewable materials to empower their engines, the cars use these materials a lot. Moreover, the building of the railways is generally considered as less damaging than the construction of the automobile roads. Additionally, although there are some ecological costs associated with the production of metal for the railways, the fact that trains do not use gasoline for moving makes the railroads much more beneficial for the environment. For instance, the countries of the European Union with very extensive railways' networking have less ecological problems than the developing countries with poorer railways' systems. Secondly, the use of the railways is more economical for the ordinary people. Expanding railways in any country should contribute to the peoples' well-being as well as to the expansion of the trade and economy. Furthermore, if the governments do so, it should also enhance the tourism on both domestic and international levels. For example, development of the new railroad from Samarkand to Bukhara in 2006 boosted the rate of tourism to Uzbekistan twofold compared to the period before. In conclusion, the more the governments spend on the new railroads, the more benefits the people get from it. There are not only financial benefits stemming from the higher budgetary returns from the tourism and increased trade, but also ecological ones stemming from the lesser usage of the petroleum products.
It is true that there is a huge gap between the money spent on building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
and the resources spent on roads for the benefit of the latter,
especially
in the developing world.
In addition
, there are
also
massive advertising campaigns promoting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
cars and
hence
contributing to the development of roads. In my opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
significantly
increase financing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railroad
construction
as well
as expand the railways' nets across their countries.

Firstly
, increasing the number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
will contribute to the better ecology of our planet. While trains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more electricity than any other non-renewable materials to empower their engines, the cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these materials a lot.
Moreover
, the building of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
is
generally
considered as less damaging than the construction of the automobile roads.
Additionally
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ecological costs associated with the production of metal for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
, the fact that trains do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
gasoline for moving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railroads
much more beneficial for the environment.
For instance
, the countries of the European Union with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
extensive railways' networking have less ecological problems than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
with poorer railways' systems.

Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
is more economical for the ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Expanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
in any country should contribute to the peoples' well-being
as well
as to the expansion of the trade and economy.
Furthermore
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it should
also
enhance the tourism on both domestic and international levels.
For example
, development of the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railroad
from Samarkand to Bukhara in 2006 boosted the rate of tourism to Uzbekistan twofold compared to the period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

In conclusion
, the more the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
spend on the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railroads
, the more benefits the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from it. There are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
financial benefits stemming from the higher budgetary returns from the tourism and increased trade,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
ecological ones stemming from the lesser usage of the petroleum products.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay QUE: Government should spend money on railways rather than road. with this statement. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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