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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v.40

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v. 40
It is true that children should be taught about the distinctive aspects between right and wrong actions as early as possible. To some extent, I agree that punishment seems to be effective for parents to educate their children, but choosing reasonable punishments is also an important factor for better education. In some specific cases, applying punishments on young children might bring several benefits of managing their behaviour. First of all, a suitable discipline is an effective way for parents to make their kids learn what they expect. In other words, adults could easily control their children's behaviour by giving requirements as well as punishments if they break the rules. The second reason is that parents and teachers tend to use punishments for teaching children in order that they could possibly help them realize the essential distinction between bad things and good things. To be more specific, if there are not disciplines imposed, young children will not possibly feel stressful and serious to follow. Because of these above positive effects, some types of punishments could be applied in order to educate good behaviour to children. The first discipline should be chosen is that children might be required to take responsibility for their behaviour. For instance, whenever they make a mistake with someone else, they have to apologize and find out solutions to fix it. Another punishment that adults seem to be allowed to use is that children's benefits or rewards would be taken away if they did not follow the rules. In particular, parents could cancel their outing or do not allow them to watch TV in case they do not behave properly. In conclusion, I would say that punishments seem to be necessary to help adults educate their children; however, some reasonable punishments should be chosen carefully so as to avoid affecting the physical and mental health of young children.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
about the distinctive aspects between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
actions as early as possible. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
seems to be effective for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to educate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
choosing reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
is
also
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor for better education.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific cases, applying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
on young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might bring several benefits of managing their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a suitable discipline is an effective way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their kids learn what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
.
In other words
, adults could
easily
control their children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
by giving requirements
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
if they break the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. The second reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
for teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in order that they could
possibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them realize the essential distinction between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things. To be more specific, if there are not disciplines imposed, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will not
possibly
feel stressful and serious to follow.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these above
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
could
be applied
in order to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The
first
discipline should
be chosen
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might
be required
to take responsibility for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
For instance
, whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a mistake with someone else, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
apologize and find out solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
that adults seem to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is that children's benefits or rewards would
be taken
away if they did not follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
In particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could cancel their outing or do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV in case they do not behave
properly
.

In conclusion
, I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
seem to be necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
adults educate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
should
be chosen
carefully
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
avoid affecting the physical and mental health of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v. 40

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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