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Q2 While on vacation, do you prefer to buy things using cash or credit cards. Give details and examples to support your answer. v.1

Q2 While on vacation, do you prefer to buy things using cash or credit cards. Give details and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Zoos are famous for its popularity and recreation. While some people agree that zoos would provide a habitation to save some endangered animals, I would argue that zoos should be shut down for some reasons. On the one hand, a large number of people believe that zoos are excellent habitats. Many species are in danger of extinction. It is undeniable that zoos are the best place for these animals to live with the protection by the trained staff. To illustrate, back to a few years ago, panda became under a real threat of being extinct, but now they are in safety by zoos. Besides, deforestation is happening in many countries. For example, in this year, Amazon rain forest has burnt, which causes to many creatures’ death and a lack of animals’ land. By these reasons, zoos would be the safest environment to prevent the animals from forest fire and forest devastating consequences. On the other hand, it is argued that the zoos should be closed down. This problem can be attributed to a host of reason. Although it is true that some animals which being risk of intimidation of human attack should be saved, the other species which are not in the category also need freedom to live in the wildlife. Additionally, this kind of animal is mainly used for education and entertaining activities. However, these animals are not meant to be caged and their distress are seemed to happen every day. If we consider zoos as saved places for animals, it could be done in another environment such as wildlife or natural parks and so on. It will be the best place for the animals to have freedom. In conclusion, while some people think that zoos are animals’ residences, I believe that zoos should stop their services.
Zoos are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for its popularity and recreation. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that zoos would provide a habitation to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, I would argue that zoos should
be shut
down for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.

On the one hand,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that zoos are excellent habitats.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
species are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of extinction. It is undeniable that zoos are the best place for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with the protection by the trained staff. To illustrate, back to a few years ago, panda became under a real threat of being extinct,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they are in safety by zoos.
Besides
, deforestation is happening in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
For example
, in this year, Amazon rain forest has burnt, which causes to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
creatures’ death and a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
land. By these reasons, zoos would be the safest environment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from forest fire and forest devastating consequences.

On the other hand
, it
is argued
that the zoos should
be closed
down. This problem can
be attributed
to a host of reason. Although it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of intimidation of human attack should
be saved
, the other species which are not in the category
also
need freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the wildlife.
Additionally
, this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
is
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for education and entertaining activities.
However
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are not meant to
be caged
and their distress
are seemed
to happen every day. If we consider zoos as saved places for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, it could
be done
in another environment such as wildlife or natural parks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It will be the best place for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to have freedom.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that zoos are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
residences, I believe that zoos should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
their services.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Q2 While on vacation, do you prefer to buy things using cash or credit cards. Give details and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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