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q5. A professor is coming to lecture. Describe the women's problem and which solution do you prefer and why. v.1

q5. A professor is coming to lecture. Describe the women's problem and which solution do you prefer and why. v. 1
Whether older staff is more valuable in workplace than younger people is a debatable subject. Some argue that older employees have more experience and are more important for a company than younger employees. However, I would argue that companies can benefit from both old and young workers. Older employees have considerable experience and knowledge, which make them more capable of taking crucial decisions and wise actions. Furthermore, older employee makes the vast majority of instructors who recruit and train new staff. Therefore, many corporations consider their senior employee invaluable asset that must be retained. This can be observed in some companies where some senior employees are given incentives to postpone their retirement and continue to serve their companies. Nevertheless, despite their vast knowledge and skills, elderly workers are more susceptible to diseases and more likely to be absent than younger employees. On the other hand, many argue that young employees have greater value for companies. This has been attributed to many factors. Firstly, young workers are more physically active and have a high level of productivity compared to older workers. Secondly, young staffs are generally healthy and less likely to be absent due to illnesses. Moreover, younger employees are more adaptive to new technologies and new innovations. This is can be observed in global technological companies such as Google where the average age of employees is 29 years old. However, it should be considered that young workers are more likely to have responsibilities and social commitments than elderly workers. In conclusion, both young and old employees have some positive attributes, and in my opinion, their value should not be determined by their age but according to their skills and performance.
Whether
older
staff is more valuable in workplace than
younger
people
is
a debatable subject.
Some
argue that
older
employees
have more experience and are more
important
for a
company
than
younger
employees
.
However
, I would argue that
companies
can benefit from both
old
and
young
workers.

Older
employees
have considerable experience and knowledge, which
make
them more capable of taking crucial decisions and wise actions.
Furthermore
,
older
employee
makes
the vast majority of instructors who recruit and train new staff.
Therefore
,
many
corporations consider their senior
employee
invaluable asset that
must
be retained
. This can
be observed
in
some
companies
where
some
senior
employees
are
given
incentives to postpone their retirement and continue to serve their
companies
.
Nevertheless
, despite their vast knowledge and
skills
, elderly
workers
are more susceptible to diseases and more likely to be absent than
younger
employees.

On the other hand
,
many
argue that
young
employees
have greater value for
companies
. This has
been attributed
to
many
factors.
Firstly
,
young
workers
are more
physically
active and have a high level of productivity compared to
older
workers
.
Secondly
,
young
staffs are
generally
healthy and less likely to be absent due to illnesses.
Moreover
,
younger
employees
are more adaptive to new technologies and new innovations. This is can
be observed
in global technological
companies
such as Google where the average age of
employees
is 29 years
old
.
However
, it should
be considered
that
young
workers
are more likely to have responsibilities and social commitments than elderly workers.

In conclusion
, both
young
and
old
employees
have
some
positive
attributes, and in my opinion, their value should not
be determined
by their age
but
according to their
skills
and performance.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay q5. A professor is coming to lecture. Describe the women's problem and which solution do you prefer and why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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