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Q4. 34 Magnetism is the force exerted by magnets when they attract or repel each other. Using the main points and examples describe magnetism. v.1

Q4. 34 Magnetism is the force exerted by magnets when they attract or repel each other. Using the main points and examples describe magnetism. v. 1
The modes of transport are really important these days for the development of a country. Different governments allocate budget on different modes of transport according to their priorities. Whether roads or railways should get more share of the budget is a moot point these days. I personally believe that governments should spend more on railways due to several reasons. Firstly, the railway is cost effective for the government in the long terms because it requires less maintenance than roads, serves a number of people simultaneously and also a cheap mode of transport for the population as well. Second, it can generate a lot of revenue for the government through goods transport. It will boast the trade in the country and hence pay the government back what they have spent on it. Road transport has several disadvantages like it is slow and affected adversely by traffic jams. The Railway on the other hand, is fast and follow a strict timetable because it is not affected by traffic jams. So the travellers can plan their visit well through rail. Another factor in favour of railways is safety. Accidents are also quite common on the roads while it's a rare phenomenon in railways. It has been observed that road traffic accidents are the leading cause of morbidity and mortality in younger population throughout the world, despite all the safety measure which have been taken by the government and the public. To sum up, I would suggest that governments should spend more on the railways than roads to develop a fast and technologically advanced safe railway for the betterment of their countrymen.
The modes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
are
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
these days for the development of a country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
allocate budget on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
modes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
according to their priorities. Whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more share of the budget is a moot point these days. I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should spend more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
due to several reasons.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
is cost
effective for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in the long terms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it requires less maintenance than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, serves a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
simultaneously
and
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
for the population
as well
. Second, it can generate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
revenue for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. It will boast the trade in the country and
hence
pay the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
back what they have spent on it.

Road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
has several disadvantages like it is slow and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
adversely
by traffic jams. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Railway
on the other hand
, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and follow a strict timetable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by traffic jams.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
can plan their visit well through rail. Another factor in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
is safety. Accidents are
also
quite common on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
while it's a rare phenomenon in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
. It has
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
traffic accidents are the leading cause of morbidity and mortality in younger population throughout the world, despite all the safety measure which have
been taken
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the public.

To sum up, I would suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should spend more on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to develop a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
technologically
advanced safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
for the betterment of their countrymen.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Q4. 34 Magnetism is the force exerted by magnets when they attract or repel each other. Using the main points and examples describe magnetism. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Q4. 34 Magnetism is the force exerted by magnets when they attract or repel each other. Using the main points and examples describe magnetism. v.1