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q4. Natural selection. Explain the significance of the Peppered Moth in relation to natural selection. v.1

q4. Natural selection. Explain the significance of the Peppered Moth in relation to natural selection. v. 1
The admission in the science field has declined as a maximum number of learners are not opting for these subjects at the university level. This situation has occurred because it is quite difficult and requires more time to complete a degree in the stream, and due to this there is a lack of science professionals. To commence with, the maximum students are not choosing science subjects because it is quite hard to do graduation in this stream because there are technical terminologies as well as higher mathematics in it, which makes the former tough. Therefore, there are a lot of efforts and hard work is required to complete it. Moreover, this degree is more costly as compared with others as it takes more time and requires research work to complete it. For example, in a recent survey conducted by Delhi University, it is found that more than sixty percent of students do not choose the science field because of its difficulty level and time duration, which is four years whereas in other fields, such as commerce and arts is of three years. Hence, they opt for the arts and commerce stream instead of science. However, it has a negative impact on the growth of the nation because there could be a lack of professionals in the science field if the learners do not choose it. Due to this, fewer researches will be conducted in this field, and consequently, it not only affects the development of the technology but also the growth of the nation. For instance, there is a lack of scientists in India because admissions in the technical field are only 20 percent. As a consequence, they do only 50 studies per year, whereas other countries conduct 100 studies per annum. If it is compared with the nations, it is half of their researches. Thereby it affected the nation’s growth. To summarize, the degree in science stream is very difficult, and it takes more years to complete it. Therefore the enrolment has fallen and eventually, it affected the overall growth of the countries.
The admission in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
has declined as a maximum number of learners are not opting for these subjects at the university level. This situation has occurred
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is quite difficult and requires more time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
a degree in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stream
, and due to this there is a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
professionals.

To commence with, the maximum students are not choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to do graduation in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are technical terminologies
as well
as higher mathematics in it, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the former tough.
Therefore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
efforts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
is required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
it.
Moreover
, this degree is more costly as compared with others as it takes more time and requires research work to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
it.
For example
, in a recent survey conducted by Delhi University, it
is found
that more than sixty percent of students do not choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its difficulty level and time duration, which is four years whereas in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
, such as commerce and arts is of three years.
Hence
, they opt for the arts and commerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stream
instead
of science.

However
, it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there could be a lack of professionals in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
if the learners do not choose it. Due to this, fewer researches will
be conducted
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, and
consequently
, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affects the development of the technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
For instance
, there is a lack of scientists in India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
admissions in the technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20 percent. As a consequence, they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
50 studies per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, whereas other countries conduct 100 studies per annum. If it
is compared
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, it is half of their researches. Thereby it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
growth.

To summarize
, the degree in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stream
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult, and it takes more years to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
it.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
has fallen and
eventually
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
overall
growth of the countries.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay q4. Natural selection. Explain the significance of the Peppered Moth in relation to natural selection. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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