Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

q3 The University responded to budget constrains by eliminating some academic departments from its College of Liberal Arts. Stated the man's opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v.1

q3 The University responded to budget constrains by eliminating some academic departments from its College of Liberal Arts. Stated the man's opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1
In present days, masses spend the majority of their moment away from homes due to work purpose. This essay will discuss the benefits such as promotion, business grown and learn new skills, while there is a drawback like the weak family bond. To commence with, people can achieve promotion due to their hard struggle. When people spend a long hour at their labour, then they get many opportunities because of the owner of work want to develop a business; therefore, the holder provides better facilities and increase the pay scale of the worker. As a result, that individual gives a better living standard to his family. Moreover, people acquire new skills to utilize long hour on the job owing to the fact that they meet professional and literate civilization. They learn different things like language, lifestyle, and culture of others. Because in the workplaces, people visit from distinct locations. On the contrary, first and the foremost drawback is the weak family bond. People who spend a large date outside, they do not have enough time for family and lack of communication, they treat rude with family members. Therefore, sometimes their relationship leads to misunderstandings. People feel more stressful because they are not maintaining their personal lives. A survey was conducted by the USA, in 2018, which revealed that 60% of multitude got divorced due to lack of present utilize with family. To conclude, people are spending more time away from houses because they want to get success like a promotion but there is some drawback for their personal life.
In present days, masses spend the majority of their moment away from homes due to work purpose. This essay will discuss the benefits such as promotion, business grown and learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, while there is a drawback like the weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bond.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can achieve promotion due to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
struggle. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a long hour at their
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
, then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the owner of work want to develop a business;
therefore
, the holder provides better facilities and increase the pay scale of the worker.
As a result
, that individual gives a better living standard to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
acquire new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to utilize long hour on the job owing to the fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
professional and literate civilization. They learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things like language, lifestyle, and culture of others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in the workplaces,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit from distinct locations.

On the contrary
,
first
and the foremost drawback is the weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bond.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who spend a large date outside, they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and lack of communication, they treat rude with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
their relationship leads to misunderstandings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
feel more stressful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not maintaining their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. A survey
was conducted
by the USA, in 2018, which revealed that 60% of multitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
divorced due to lack of present utilize with family.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending more time away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success like a promotion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawback for their personal life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay q3 The University responded to budget constrains by eliminating some academic departments from its College of Liberal Arts. Stated the man's opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts