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Some people prefer to use their weekends to get ahead by working and studying. Others prefer to use their weekends to rest and relax. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Some people prefer to use their weekends to get ahead by working and studying. Others prefer to use their weekends to rest and relax. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
It is a highly debated issue wether or not using the weekend to get ahead by working and studying, and this topic can be approached from several angles due to its complexity. While some people tend to get ahead and work on their weekends, others prefer to use their weekends to relax and rest. Deeply deliberating over the issue, I totally prefer to use my weekends to rest and relax, and the following discussion reveals my stand and reasoning. First of all, our body needs rest to continue. When you work for a long time each day and continue to do that in everyday, your body will start to be exhausted after a while and may affect your health. For example, I remember when I was in the pharmacy college, in my second year there, I used to study everyday even on weekends and I was totally exhausted. Our professors gave us so many essays and works to do. At the end of that year, I was so sick, and I went to the hospital because of that. The doctor there told me that I can' t continue to put myself in that stress or my body will become sick permanently. After that year, I started to take a rest from study and have more quiet time. As you could see, our body can' t continue to do the work without resting time. Second, having a rest will help you to do a better job. For instance, When people tend to relax and rest on their weekend, they will able to do a better job on next working day. Otherwise, they will be so tired to keep their tension and concentration on their work day, if they didn' t rest. Even though some people work on their weekends to get ahead on their work and study, but preparation ahead is not enough to do the job in the best way. If you went to your job tired from working the day before, you will find yourself doing much more mistakes and will affects directly to your attention and concentration at work. In conclusion, I believe that people should relax and rest on their weekends. Not only is the body need rest to continue working. But it also helps us to do a better job in our study or work later on. That' s why people should take time for themselves and shouldn' t push their bodies to do more work especialy on weekends.
It is a
highly
debated issue
Possible spelling mistake found.
wether
or not using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ahead
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and studying, and this topic can
be approached
from several angles due to its complexity. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ahead
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekends
, others prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekends
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relax
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
.
Deeply
deliberating over the issue, I
totally
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekends
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relax
, and the following discussion reveals my stand and reasoning.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continue
. When you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a long time each day and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continue
to do that in
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
be exhausted
after a while and may affect your health.
For example
, I remember when I was in the pharmacy college, in my second year there, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
everyday even on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
weekends and
I was
totally
exhausted. Our professors gave us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
essays and works to do. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of that year, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sick, and I went to the hospital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that. The doctor there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that I
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continue
to put myself in that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
or my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
will become sick
permanently
. After that year, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and have more quiet time. As you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continue
to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without resting time.

Second, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to do a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For instance
, When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relax
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
, they
Did you mean "will be able"?
will able
to do a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
on
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
day.
Otherwise
, they will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tired to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their tension and concentration on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
day, if they
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekends
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ahead
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
preparation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ahead
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the best way. If you went to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
tired from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
the day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, you will find yourself doing much more mistakes and will affects
directly
to your attention and concentration at work.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relax
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekends
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to do a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
later on.
Possible spelling mistake found.
That&
#039; s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take time for themselves and
Possible spelling mistake found.
shouldn&
#039; t push their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
to do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
especialy
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekends
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
63Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Some people prefer to use their weekends to get ahead by working and studying. Others prefer to use their weekends to rest and relax. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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