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Some students tend to live alone, while others may want to share their rooms with their roommates. Which way of living do you think is better for students and why? v.1

Some students tend to live alone, while others may want to share their rooms with their roommates. Which way of living do you think is better for students and why? v. 1
A great number of experts believe that learning a foreign language at primary school is much better than learning them in secondary school. In this essay I am going to explain why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Children have a steep curve of learning. In contrast, the adults have greater difficulties learning new subjects like languages. Therefore, experts are for the introduction of foreign languages to the curriculum of young students in primary school. That implementation has a heap of pros. For example: learning new languages get them to know about the culture of the origin of the language. Plus, it gives them a good opportunity to communicate with different minds with new perception and distinct experiences, that can help having a flexible cooperative character. In addition, this new approach will open the door wide for uniting perspectives, solving international problems and improving fields of mutual interest. On the other hand, parents argue that the current burden is quite enough and adding a new language will not add to the educational system. But experts claim that the drawbacks are not of a great impact on the educational process. For example: studying time dedicated to managing the new tongue will not have much effect on other subjects. in contrast, the new language will make them able to read from various resources, increasing their knowledge significantly. However, the concern of being driven to the new culture and forgetting their heritage, can be easily avoided be increasing the sense of loyalty and belonging. In conclusion, learning new language is a must in this new era. Starting at primary school has great advantages and some disadvantages that can be easily avoided by good preparation and a deeply thought-out plan.
A great number of experts believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is much better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
them in secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In this essay I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Children have a steep curve of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
In contrast
, the adults have greater difficulties
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
subjects like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Therefore
, experts are for the introduction of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
to the curriculum of young students in primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. That implementation has a heap of pros.
For example
:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them to know about the culture of the origin of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. Plus, it gives them a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to communicate with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
minds with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
perception and distinct experiences, that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to have" or "have".
having
a flexible cooperative character.
In addition
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
approach will open the door wide for uniting perspectives, solving international problems and improving fields of mutual interest.

On the other hand
, parents argue that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
burden is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and adding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the educational system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
experts claim that the drawbacks are not of a great impact on the educational process.
For example
: studying time dedicated to managing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
tongue will not have much effect on other subjects.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them able to read from various resources, increasing their knowledge
significantly
.
However
, the concern of
being driven
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture and forgetting their heritage, can be
easily
avoided be increasing the sense of loyalty and belonging.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
era. Starting at primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has great advantages and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages that can be
easily
avoided by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
preparation and a
deeply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
-out plan.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some students tend to live alone, while others may want to share their rooms with their roommates. Which way of living do you think is better for students and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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