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q1. Describe an ideal marriage partner. What qualities do you thing are more important for a husband or a wife. Use reasons and details to support your answer. v.1

q1. Describe an ideal marriage partner. What qualities do you thing are more important for a husband or a wife. Use reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1
At present, technology is widely used in different areas of our lives. Despite the obvious benefits of the internet, people are of the thought that the challenges regarding controlling and managing information outweigh the merits. In my opinion, I completely disagree that the problems in terms of control and security of information are more than its advantages. On the one hand, there are several benefits of internet. First of all, the use of internet makes communication in offices easy. This means information can be shared within a short period through email. For example, a special survey by the West African bureau of statistics showed that 80 percent of companies were able to send messages across to their clients within few minutes at no cost. This reveals the extent to which internet is quite convenient. In addition, the internet is used for entertainment. People are able to watch different movies and music videos online. For instance, toddlers watch kids educational songs and this improves their cognitive skills. On the other hand, there are many challenges regarding controlling and securing information on the web, however, this issue can be addressed. Firstly, the government can enforce a law that would regulate the access to dangerous sites, such as ponography. Another way to resolve this issue, parents should monitor their children when using the internet. Furthermore, IT expert can find security measures to help protect the company's data base from internet fraudster. In conclusion, despite the problems of control and security of information which is associated with using the internet, the benefits clearly outweigh the problems in my opinion. This is because the challenges can be solved by using the government and parents to address the issue of control, then IT experts with regards to security.
At present, technology is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Despite the obvious benefits of the internet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the challenges regarding controlling and managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
outweigh the merits. In my opinion, I completely disagree that the problems in terms of control and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
are more than its advantages.

On the one hand, there are several benefits of internet.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
communication in offices easy. This means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can
be shared
within a short period through email.
For example
, a special survey by the West African bureau of statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 80 percent of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
were able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages across to their clients within few minutes at no cost. This reveals the extent to which internet is quite convenient.
In addition
, the internet is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for entertainment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
movies and music videos online.
For instance
, toddlers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
kids educational songs and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges regarding controlling and securing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the web,
however
, this issue can
be addressed
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can enforce a law that would regulate the access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
sites, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
ponography
. Another way to resolve this issue, parents should monitor their children when using the internet.
Furthermore
, IT expert can find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
protect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's data base from internet fraudster.

In conclusion
, despite the problems of control and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which
is associated
with using the internet, the benefits
clearly
outweigh the problems in my opinion. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the challenges can
be solved
by using the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and parents to address the issue of control, then IT experts
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay q1. Describe an ideal marriage partner. What qualities do you thing are more important for a husband or a wife. Use reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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