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1)Describe an ideal marriage partner. What qualities do you think are most important for a husband or wife? v.1

1)Describe an ideal marriage partner. What qualities do you think are most important for a husband or wife? v. 1
Some would argue that all tertiary pupils should be allowed to study what they want to learn. Others say that they ought to study only science and technology-related subjects because they bring more career opportunities in the future. While many people think that learning about science and technology opens more career doors in future and make more money, I believe that students can only flourish in their future if they study their favourite course. On the one hand, it is often argued that all higher education pupils should study courses that are related to science because more technological innovations are required in the world. And they make more money in their future and enjoy a luxurious lifestyle while working in this field rather than other fields. For example, a recent survey of The University of Regina found that students who do their bachelors in science-related course earn 15% more than as compared to those pupils who studied other subjects. However, a man will not be happy regardless of how much money he earns if he does not enjoy the work. On the other hand, others think that students only flourish in their studies when they study the course what they like. And it helps their future as well because they enjoy that particular course and when one enjoys the courses rather than take it as a burden than the chances of their success in the future increases. For instance, Pakistan leading singer Atif Aslam is an engineer and he started his career as an engineer, but he could not succeed in that field, then he learned the basics of singing and now he is one of the best singers in South Asia. Enjoyment of work automatically brings some extraordinary result that cannot be achieved while working in an environment where one feels suffocated. In conclusion, although many say that pupils should take their majors in science because they bring, the more fruitful result, I believe learning about the course that one enjoys bringing more useful results in future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that all tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
what they want to learn. Others say that they ought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology-related subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they bring more career opportunities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology opens more career doors in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more money, I believe that students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
flourish in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
course.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that all higher education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that
are related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more technological innovations
are required
in the world. And they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more money in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
a luxurious lifestyle while working in this field
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields.
For example
, a recent survey of The University of Regina found that students who do their bachelors in science-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
earn 15% more than as compared to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
who studied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects.
However
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
will not be happy regardless of how much money he earns if he does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
the work.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
flourish in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
what they like. And it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
and when one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoys
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
rather
than take it as a burden than the chances of their success in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
increases.
For instance
, Pakistan leading singer
Possible spelling mistake found.
Atif
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aslam
is an
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
engineer and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
his career as an engineer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he could not succeed in that field, then he learned the basics of singing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is one of the best singers in South Asia. Enjoyment of work
automatically
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extraordinary result that cannot
be achieved
while working in an environment where one feels suffocated.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
should take their majors in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they bring, the more fruitful result, I believe learning about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
that one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoys
bringing more useful results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1)Describe an ideal marriage partner. What qualities do you think are most important for a husband or wife? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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