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Q: You will move to new city for work. You know some people who live there. Write a letter to one of your friends. In your letterAsk them for help finding accommodation, tell them where you would like to live and tell what type of place you are looking fo v.1

Q: You will move to new city for work. You know some people who live there. Write a letter to one of your friends. In your letterAsk them for help finding accommodation, tell them where you would like to live and tell what type of place you are looking fo v. 1
It is a clear fact that marriage is an important phenomenon in people’s lives in almost every culture in the world. In this context, people’s ideas differ about spending money on a large wedding: it is necessary and a must or it is a waste of money. In my opinion, spending a lot of money for a large wedding is nothing but a waste of money for some reasons. In the following paragraphs, I will try to explain why I think so. First of all; as it is a clear fact from above, people should not spend much money for elaborate weddings because newlywed couples have a lot of stress on big weddings and are crushed by this expense. Therefore, people should organize more intimate and simpler celebrations and they should use extra saved money for their other purposes, like travelling and improving themselves in different ways. That’s to say, they can plan, large trips instead of lavish weddings. For example, they can go on a world tour and see the world. Thus, such a journey gives them new perspectives and new cultural information. Also, newly married couples can use extra saved money to take up new hobbies, to improve themselves and to have a good time such as joining new courses as painting course, dance course etc. In addition to this, newly married couples should save this extra money for their future. What I mean is that couples can achieve better things in their lives with this money. For example, they can invest it in their children’s education in the future. Also, they can spend the extra money saved from a big wedding for their necessities like a car, an apartment or household items because of the fact that newlywed couples are on the threshold of the new life in which they will need almost everything. All in all, in the light of the aforementioned points, it can be effortlessly concluded that people should not spend too much money for a big wedding and they should use the money for better alternatives for their lives.
It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
fact that marriage is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
phenomenon in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in almost every culture in the world. In this context,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
differ about spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
: it is necessary and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
or it is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In my opinion, spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the following paragraphs, I will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
; as it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
fact from above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not spend much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for elaborate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
newlywed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
and
are crushed
by this expense.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should organize more intimate and simpler
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
celebrations and
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their other purposes, like travelling and improving themselves in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. That’s to say, they can plan, large trips
instead
of lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
.
For example
, they can go on a world tour and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world.
Thus
, such a journey gives them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
perspectives and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
cultural information.
Also
,
newly
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to take up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
hobbies, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves and to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time such as joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
courses as painting course, dance course etc.

In addition
to this,
newly
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
should save this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their future. What I mean is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
can achieve better things in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For example
, they can invest it in their children’s education in the future.
Also
, they can spend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
saved from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
for their necessities like a car, an apartment or household items
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
newlywed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
are on the threshold of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
life in which they will need almost everything.

All in all, in the light of the aforementioned points, it can be
effortlessly
concluded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
wedding and
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for better alternatives for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Q: You will move to new city for work. You know some people who live there. Write a letter to one of your friends. In your letterAsk them for help finding accommodation, tell them where you would like to live and tell what type of place you are looking fo v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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