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Who would you like to go on a trip abroad with? Describe this person and saywhy he/she would be a good travel companion for you. v.3

Who would you like to go on a trip abroad with? Describe this person and saywhy he/she would be a good travel companion for you. v. 3
Ancestors preserved the child’s quality and humanity from discipline in the past. Parents were the best part of teaching previously because homeschooling was held in the past. Children had spare time to spend with their parents, and study with observing and environmental friendly. Therefore, humanity has been spread all over the world. Moreover, homeschooling has a significant value which is cannot obtain from academy or other educational institutes. According to my view, children receive love, caring, and they can try even alternative processes from home activities. Furthermore, the mother is the symbol of eternal love who spread compassion, and children can understand the lessons rapidly. As well, kids can brush up knowledge with their cultural background, and it assists in bumming the children’s mentality. However, children cannot afford only homeschooling according to the modern world. Comparing to the ancient period, technology has enhanced today, and people should maintain these techniques for their institute, office, and other works. Also, homeschooling may be drawbacks to the students because they cannot combine with other colleagues. It is a negative outcome that is losing their confidence, teamwork, and reduce avid to work with others. Moreover, homeschooling cannot give some school activities like sports competitions, a wide range of musical instruments playing and dancing, scouting and other special activities which can participate in the school. In the past, most of the people were illiterate, and as a consequence, some children had not any opportunity to study further. But any person can study as much in current society as a result of schools and higher education centres. Furthermore, schools help to create, socialize people, and students have a chance to stable with a hectic lifestyle. Isolation is not a good manner in these days, and people can exchange their knowledge and practice with globalization. In conclusion, homeschooling cannot say it is the best quality education; however, it has some optimistic values of the children.
Ancestors preserved the child’s quality and humanity from discipline in the past. Parents were the best part of teaching previously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
homeschooling
was held
in the past.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
had spare time to spend with their parents, and study with observing and environmental friendly.
Therefore
, humanity has
been spread
all over the world.
Moreover
, homeschooling has a significant value which is cannot obtain from academy or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
educational institutes. According to my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
receive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, caring, and they can try even alternative processes from home activities.
Furthermore
, the mother is the symbol of eternal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
who spread compassion, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can understand the lessons
rapidly
.
As well
, kids can brush up knowledge with their cultural background, and it assists in bumming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
mentality.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot afford
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
homeschooling according to the modern world. Comparing to the ancient period, technology has enhanced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should maintain these techniques for their institute, office, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
works.
Also
, homeschooling may be drawbacks to the students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot combine with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
colleagues. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcome
that is
losing their confidence, teamwork, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
avid to work with others.
Moreover
, homeschooling cannot give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
school activities like sports competitions, a wide range of musical instruments playing and dancing, scouting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
special activities which can participate in the school.

In the past, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were illiterate, and as a consequence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had not any opportunity to study
further
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
any person can study as much in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society
as a result
of schools and higher education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
Furthermore
, schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to create, socialize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and students have a chance to stable with a hectic lifestyle. Isolation is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manner in these days, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can exchange their knowledge and practice with globalization.

In conclusion
, homeschooling cannot say it is the best quality education;
however
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
optimistic values of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Who would you like to go on a trip abroad with? Describe this person and saywhy he/she would be a good travel companion for you. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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