Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Public celeberations such as national days festivals etc are held in most countries These are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree v.2

Public celeberations such as national days festivals etc are held in most countries These are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things v. 2
As people are living in diverse age, they tend to celebrate national as well as religious days. The Government is also economically supporting communities to celebrate these events. It is believed that these festivals cost too much to the government as well as this amount should be spent to avail more robust public services. I completely agree on the said idea. Two primitive reasons to support the aforementioned notion are: Betterment of local infrastructure is more important than spending on special days, Generating employment options is also as important in terms of using treasury fund wisely. Most nations are suffering from lack of public services. It is surprising that the government has the mammoth amount of money to spend on religious activities and for the national days as well, but when it comes to availing public services or infrastructural improvements then the government often replied with lack of monetary resources. For example, the Indian government often contribute to celebrate occasions like Diwali, Christmas, and Ede but when public demands reparation of several risky national highways then the government is unable to facilitate needed amount. Consequently, developing and populous countries like India and Pakistan need robust employment options. The government should increase their focus to generate enough jobs in the market, instead blindly spend humongous amount on public celebrations. For example, the Chinese government had significantly reduced the spending on public events and started improving upon government job creation. As a result, now, Chinese citizens are more wealthy and celebrate these events on their own. To deduce, there is a dire need for the developing country’s government to shift their focus and start thinking in a new direction to facilitate their republicans with basic amenities. It is also imperative that the government should develop a system with all those money to provide better employment opportunities for citizens. Other fund related celebration requirement would be done by citizens itself if the government is able to create enough employment.
As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are living in diverse age, they tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrate
national
as well
as religious days. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
is
also
economically
supporting communities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrate
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. It
is believed
that these festivals cost too much to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
as well
as this amount should
be spent
to avail more robust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on the said
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Two primitive reasons to support the aforementioned notion are: Betterment of local infrastructure is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than spending on special days, Generating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
options is
also
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in terms of using treasury fund
wisely
.

Most nations are suffering from lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services. It is surprising that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has the mammoth amount of money to spend on religious activities and for the national days
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to availing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services or infrastructural improvements then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
replied with lack of monetary resources.
For example
, the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrate
occasions like Diwali, Christmas, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ede
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
demands reparation of several risky national highways then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is unable to facilitate needed amount.

Consequently
, developing and populous countries like India and Pakistan need robust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
options. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should increase their focus to generate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
jobs in the market,
instead
blindly
spend humongous amount on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
celebrations.
For example
, the Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
had
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
improving upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
job creation.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, Chinese citizens are more wealthy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrate
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

To deduce, there is a dire need for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to shift their focus and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
thinking in a new direction to facilitate their republicans with basic amenities. It is
also
imperative that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should develop a system with all
Did you mean "this money" or "those moneys", "those monies"?
those money
to provide better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
opportunities for citizens. Other fund related celebration requirement would
be done
by citizens itself if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is able to create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Public celeberations such as national days festivals etc are held in most countries These are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts