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"Prevention is better than cure. "Out of country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. v.41

"Prevention is better than cure. "Out of country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. v. 41
There is a saying goes “Prevention is better than cure”. Many people argue that the government should spent a great portion of a country’s health budget on health education programs and preventative measures than on treatment. This is countered against the idea of some people that a large portion of health budget should be spent on medical treatment and facilities. To a certain extent, I agree that more resources should be spent on health education programs and preventative measures. First and foremost, I could not agree more that prevention is definitely better than cure. Nowadays, there are many influenzas and fatal diseases occurred around the world. It is important that government spends more public money on health education programs and preventative measures. The health education programs can be included in the syllabus of the subjects of primary and secondary schools by teaching the students to pick up the habit of washing hands before eating. For instance, the steps of washing hands can be listed on a board and place the board around the schools. In addition, if more money is spent on medical research, more vaccines can be invented to prevent the infection of fatal diseases. For instance, females are encouraged to get the HPV vaccines from hospitals to prevent fatal diseases. In Malaysia, the most popular disease is dengue fever which can take away one’s life. Thus, the government educates the public to remove the water of the flower pot so as to reduce the breeding place of mosquitoes. There are even advertisements being published through multimedia such as television and radio on ways to prevent dengue fever. The counter-argument is that government should not divert the budget on treatment to health education programs and preventative measures. Many people believe that the money spent on medical treatment is important to the welfare of society. They argue that health education programs and preventative measures could not totally prevent the society from infected diseases. For instance, when a person infected H1N1, there was no prevention for other people. In conclusion, I personally think that both treatment and health education and preventative measures are important to the social welfare. It is the government to make a balance between medical treatment and preventative measures due to the financial constraint. It is good to spend some money on health education and preventative measures so that the society could immune some, but not all fatal diseases.
There is a saying goes “Prevention is better than cure”.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
a great portion of a country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and preventative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
. This
is countered
against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that a large portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
budget should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
and facilities. To a certain extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that more resources should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and preventative measures.

First
and foremost, I could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
more that prevention is definitely better than cure. Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
influenzas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
occurred around the world. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spends more public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and preventative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
can
be included
in the syllabus of the subjects of primary and secondary schools by teaching the students to pick up the habit of washing hands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
eating.
For instance
, the steps of washing hands can
be listed
on a board and place the board around the schools.

In addition
, if more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
research, more vaccines can
be invented
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
the infection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
For instance
, females
are encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the HPV vaccines from hospitals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. In Malaysia, the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
is dengue fever which can take away one’s life.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
educates the public to remove the water of the flower pot
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the breeding place of mosquitoes. There are even advertisements
being published
through multimedia such as television and radio on ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
dengue fever.

The counter-argument is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not divert the budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and preventative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the welfare of society. They argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and preventative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
could not
totally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
the society from infected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
For instance
, when a person infected H1N1, there was no prevention for other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and preventative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the social welfare. It is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
and preventative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
due to the financial constraint. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and preventative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the society could immune
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
69Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay "Prevention is better than cure. "Out of country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. v. 41

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
401 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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