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"Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. v.34

"Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. v. 34
In this world, many people are dying from various types of health related problems due to the lacking of appropriate health education and preventive actions. That is why a government should expend a huge amount of money from health budget for cure-related education as well as preventive measure. It is agreed that this policy has a great number of benefits and this will be proven by analysing economical point of view of a country and the health aspects of people. Firstly, many regimes spend an enormous amount of money in order to treat their people who are suffering from different types of serious diseases. This extravagance can be easily diminished when state commences of healthcare educational system by spending money to the health teaching system. As an example, if the administration perceives to their slums that smoking, drinking, and so on is bad things for human body through this educational program, many people will be not attacked by the severe sickness. This could save a large amount of money of the state. As can be clearly seen from this illustration that the idea may bring colossal economic benefit to the government. Secondly, many governments fight against several types of diseases, especially diabetes and the heart diseases. Before these health problems assault the people, it can be ceased by taking some preventive measure. For example, exercise, sports, entertainment etc. can decrease the chances to become these patients. Making parks, playground, and cinema hall can influence people to do exercise, which can protect the people from these intense sicknesses. This can be achieved by investing the money in preventive measures from health budget. In conclusions, this idea is indispensable not only to the people but also to the governments. However, the tremendous amenities of this policy fortify my argument. Therefore, a government should spend money for health education and preventive measure from health budget.
In this world,
many
people
are dying from various types of
health
related problems due to the lacking of appropriate
health
education and preventive actions.
That is
why a
government
should expend a huge amount of
money
from
health
budget for cure-related education
as well
as preventive
measure
. It is
agreed
that this policy has a great number of benefits and this will
be proven
by
analysing
economical point of view of a country and the
health
aspects of
people
.

Firstly
,
many
regimes spend an enormous amount of
money
in order to treat their
people
who are suffering from
different
types of serious diseases. This extravagance can be
easily
diminished when state commences of healthcare educational system by spending
money
to the
health
teaching system. As an example, if the administration perceives to their slums that smoking, drinking, and
so
on is
bad
things for human body through this educational program,
many
people
will be not attacked by the severe sickness. This could save a large amount of
money
of the state.
As
can be
clearly
seen
from this illustration that the
idea
may bring colossal economic benefit to the
government
.

Secondly
,
many
governments
fight against several types of diseases,
especially
diabetes and the heart diseases.
Before
these
health
problems assault the
people
, it can
be ceased
by taking
some
preventive
measure
.
For example
, exercise, sports, entertainment etc. can decrease the chances to become these patients. Making parks, playground, and cinema hall can influence
people
to do exercise, which can protect the
people
from these intense sicknesses. This can
be achieved
by investing the
money
in preventive
measures
from
health
budget.

In conclusions, this
idea
is indispensable not
only
to the
people
but
also
to the
governments
.
However
, the tremendous amenities of this policy fortify my argument.
Therefore
, a
government
should spend
money
for
health
education and preventive
measure
from
health
budget.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay "Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. v. 34

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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