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"Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. v.35

"Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. v. 35
It goes without saying that prevention is better than cure. That is why, in recent years, there has been a growing body of opinion in favour of putting more resources into health education and preventive measures. The argument is that ignorance of, for example, basic hygiene or the dangers of an unhealthy diet or lifestyle needs to be combated by special nationwide publicity campaigns, as well as longer-term health education. Obviously, there is a strong human argument for catching any medical condition as early as possible. There is also an economic argument for doing so. Statistics demonstrate the cost-effectiveness of treating a condition in the early stages, rather than delaying until more expensive and prolonged treatment is necessary. Then there are social or economic costs, perhaps in terms of loss of earnings for the family concerned or unemployed benefit paid by the state. So far so good, but the difficulties start when we try to define what the 'proportion' of the budget "should be, particularly if the funds will be 'diverted from treatment'. Decisions on exactly how much of the total health budget should be spent in this way ' are not a matter for the non-specialist, but should be made on the basis of an accepted health service model. This is the point at which real problems occur - the formulation of the model. How do we accurately measure which health education campaigns are effective in both medical and financial terms? How do we agree about the medical efficacy of various screening programmes, for example, when the medical establishment itself does not agree? A very rigorous process of evaluation is called for so that we can make an informed decision.
It goes without saying that prevention is better than cure.
That is
why, in recent years, there has been a growing body of opinion in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of putting more resources into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education and preventive measures. The argument is that ignorance of,
for example
, basic hygiene or the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of an unhealthy diet or lifestyle needs to
be combated
by special nationwide publicity campaigns,
as well
as longer-term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education.

Obviously
, there is a strong human argument for catching any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
condition as early as possible. There is
also
an economic argument for doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Statistics demonstrate the cost-effectiveness of treating a condition in the early stages,
rather
than delaying until more expensive and prolonged treatment is necessary. Then there are social or economic costs, perhaps in terms of loss of earnings for the family concerned or unemployed benefit paid by the state.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
far
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the difficulties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
when we try to define what the 'proportion' of the budget
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
should be,
particularly
if the funds will be 'diverted from treatment'. Decisions on exactly how much of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
budget should
be spent
in this way
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
are not a matter for the non-specialist,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
should
be made
on the basis of an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
service model.

This is the point at which real problems occur
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the formulation of the model. How do we
accurately
measure which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education campaigns are effective in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
and financial terms? How do we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
efficacy of various screening
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
,
for example
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
establishment itself does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
? A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rigorous process of evaluation
is called
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an informed decision.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay "Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. v. 35

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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