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"Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. v.36

"Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. v. 36
A government has various responsibilities to its citizens, perhaps the most important would be the health care. There are different approaches to this, namely prevention versus cure. This essay will explain why treatment is superior, using the case of tobacco as a clear example. Firstly, health education has its limits. Over the last twenty years, various western governments have attempted to discourage smokers by placing surgeon’s warnings and revolting pictures. Yet smokers still want to light up, therefore seriously questioning government endeavours of prevention rather than cure. Nevertheless, through the same period cancer treatment has improved considerably even producing beneficial spin-off discoveries for asthma suffers. Therefore treatment is not only more effective, it has also bettered other sectors of society. Secondly, even if prevention has solid evidence of being effective there is the common case of patients suffering by pure chance. For example, it is known that people can suffer from lung cancer having never smoked anything whereas someone smoking twenty a day can escape such illness. Therefore, even having followed government guidance, there would still be a need for treatment. In addition, if funds had been diverted from research for cures to education there would be little to help ‘chance victims’. To conclude, all though smoking has addictive elements, drawing from observations over various years it is clear that prevention has failed considerably. Furthermore, treatment can help those afflicted by pure chance, and even benefit patients with related challenges.
A
government
has various responsibilities to its citizens, perhaps the most
important
would be the health care. There are
different
approaches to this,
namely
prevention
versus cure. This essay will
explain
why
treatment
is superior, using the case of tobacco as a
clear
example.

Firstly
, health education has its limits. Over the last twenty years, various western
governments
have attempted to discourage smokers by placing surgeon’s warnings and revolting pictures.
Yet
smokers
still
want to light up,
therefore
seriously
questioning
government
endeavours
of
prevention
rather
than cure.
Nevertheless
, through the same period cancer
treatment
has
improved
considerably
even producing beneficial spin-off discoveries for asthma suffers.
Therefore
treatment
is not
only
more effective, it has
also
bettered other sectors of society.

Secondly
, even if
prevention
has solid evidence of being effective there is the common case of patients suffering by pure chance.
For example
, it
is known
that
people
can suffer from lung cancer having never smoked anything whereas someone smoking twenty a day can escape such illness.
Therefore
, even having followed
government
guidance, there would
still
be a need for
treatment
.
In addition
, if funds had
been diverted
from research for cures to education there would be
little
to
help
‘chance victims’.

To conclude
,
all though
smoking has addictive elements, drawing from observations over various years it is
clear
that
prevention
has failed
considerably
.
Furthermore
,
treatment
can
help
those afflicted by pure chance, and even benefit patients with related challenges.
21Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay "Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. v. 36

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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