Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Popular hobbies and interest change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.1

Popular hobbies and interest change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals want to do in their spare time. v. 1
It is true that people's hobbies and interests change according with latest trends and fashions. People are following these hobbies and interests for popularity, not for personal pleasure. To certain extent, I agree that people change their hobbies and interests with their passion. On the one hand, many people change their hobbies for popularity purpose. In other words, people follow and do activities to show that they exist and are up to date with latest trends. However, in reality they do not really have passion for these activities. For instance, photography has become popular activity in India. Many people are following it. While some them are doing it for their passion and interest in the photography where as others are doing it to show that they are updated with the trend and to receive the attraction of people by showing the latest model of a camera. On the other hand, other people start following latest hobbies and interest because of the fact that they like these new activities. These new hobbies might be the latest trend; therefore, no one was doing these in the past. In addition to this, people may find these activities interesting and might start getting passionate about it. In conclusion, is it fact that sometimes people change their hobbies and interests. To certain extent, I agree that people change their hobbies due to the recent trend, but there are others who change their interest due to they like the new activity. I personally believe that hobby is a personal matter and anyone should not follow what is popular in public.
It is true that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
Did you mean: "according to"? according to: (as stated/in the opinion of)
according with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
and fashions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are following these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and
The usual collocation for "interests" is "in" not "for". Did you mean "interests in"?
interests for
popularity, not for personal pleasure. To certain extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
with their passion.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
for popularity purpose. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow and do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that they exist and are up to date with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
.
However
, in reality they do not
really
have passion for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For instance
, photography has become popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in India.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are following it. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
them are doing it for their passion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in the photography
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
others are doing it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that they
are updated
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
and to receive the attraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by showing the latest model of a camera.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
following latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
they like these new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. These new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
might be the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
;
therefore
, no one was doing these in the past.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may find these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
interesting and might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
getting passionate about it.

In conclusion
, is it fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
. To certain extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
due to the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are others who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
due to they like the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
is a personal matter and anyone should not follow what is popular in public.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Popular hobbies and interest change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals want to do in their spare time. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts