Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Poor students or students who come from rural areas often find it is difficult to get access to the university education, so some people think universities should make it easier for them to study at. v.1

Poor students or students who come from rural areas often find it is difficult to get access to the university education, so some people think universities should make it easier for them to study at. v. 1
It is believed that students who come from a low-income family background or remote areas find some difficulties in continuing their undergraduate and graduate studies, therefore it is suggested that college and universities should provide special pathways for them. To a certain point, I would agree with the statement, but there should be additional requirements that these students must fulfil and the following essay will discuss it in details. On the one hand, many students who come from a poor family or live in a rural area found some difficulties in entering universities. It is mostly due to the low quality of secondary education. The low-class students could only enrol to low-quality schools, while for those who live in remote areas, they are taught by junior teachers, who are still gaining some teaching experiences. As a result, they could not get the maximum quality education that they should get, and could not compete with other students when they participate in the registration test for entering universities. Therefore, it is suggested that post-secondary institutions should allocate some seats and provide some subsidy for them. However, despite the special pathways, the institutions should provide some entry tests and academic background checking for these students. Universities must ensure that these students have some potential and eagerness to learn, and they have good academic scores in their secondary school studies, therefore the allocated seats and subsidised funds would not be a waste. This filter is a must since many of these students are entering universities but they are serious about learning and studying. In conclusion, it is a fact that students from low economy background or live in rural areas find difficulties in entering post-secondary schools. Many people suggested that these institutions should give special pathways for them. I do agree with the statement, but some test should be given to these students, therefore only those who are serious in studying will be enrolled.
It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from a low-income family background or remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties in continuing their undergraduate and graduate studies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
it
is suggested
that college and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should provide special pathways for them. To a certain point, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there should be additional requirements that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
fulfil and the following essay will discuss it in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from a poor family or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. It is
mostly
due to the low quality of secondary education. The low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enrol to low-quality schools, while for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, they
are taught
by junior teachers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
still
gaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
teaching experiences.
As a result
, they could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the maximum quality education that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
, and could not compete with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when they participate in the registration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, it
is suggested
that post-secondary institutions should allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
seats and provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
subsidy for them.

However
, despite the special pathways, the institutions should provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
and academic background checking for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential and eagerness to learn, and they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
academic scores in their secondary school studies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
the allocated seats and
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidised' is British English.
subsidised
funds would not be a waste. This filter is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are serious about learning and studying.

In conclusion
, it is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from low economy background or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
find difficulties in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entering
post-secondary schools.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggested that these institutions should give special pathways for them. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are serious in studying will
be enrolled
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Poor students or students who come from rural areas often find it is difficult to get access to the university education, so some people think universities should make it easier for them to study at. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts