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Planting trees is very important. some people says that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and town, while others says that housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

Planting trees is very important. some people says that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and town, while others says that housing facilities should be build instead. v. 4
People have differing views concerning the question of how to use vacant areas in the cities. While some argue that it would be better to develop housing and associated facilities in these spaces, I believe that planting trees is much more vital for human's life. There are various reasons why some people believe that uninhabited areas inside the cities should be allocated to build new buildings. They may assert that nowadays, due to the rapid pace of population growth, housing demand is increasing. Therefore, it may be reasonable to benefit the whole interior potential to occupy residents; particularly those working in the cities. Because people certainly prefer to be as much close to their workplace as they can to reduce the cost of living related to commuting. Besides, proponents of this idea argue that each city needs to be known by its landmarks principally made of deserted ground in the city centre. As a result, these skyscrapers can attract more tourists, leading to making new job opportunities for local people. In spite of these arguments, I believe that cities are required to achieve the right balance between housing and gardening. Firstly, trees are considered to be the Earth's lungs. They naturally absorb a huge amount of generated CO2 and produce O2 as the first key element to be live, resulting in breathing a more purified air. Secondly, people are mainly looking for a relaxing atmosphere matched with their nature. This prospect will be bleak unless a natural environment is provided by planting as many trees as possible. The reason why this is assumed is that not only are they able to mitigate the sound pollution, but also they are claimed to be an effective way to diminish the crime rate. Finally, this world belongs to all creatures correlating to each other in a natural cycle. Forests, as one of the most significant habitat, have a pivotal role to play to prevent the irreparable negative impacts of changing ecosystem in a long- term. In conclusion, although it might seem that housing expansion is necessary for cities, in my view, governments should attach great importance to developing green spaces.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have differing views concerning the question of how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
vacant areas in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that it would be better to develop housing and associated facilities in these spaces, I believe that planting trees is much more vital for human's life.

There are various reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that uninhabited areas inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
should
be allocated
to build new buildings. They may assert that nowadays, due to the rapid pace of population growth, housing demand is increasing.
Therefore
, it may be reasonable to benefit the whole interior potential to occupy residents;
particularly
those working in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
certainly
prefer to be as much close to their workplace as they can to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cost of living related to commuting.
Besides
, proponents of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
argue that each city needs to
be known
by its landmarks
principally
made of deserted ground in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.
As a result
, these skyscrapers can attract more tourists, leading to making new job opportunities for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these arguments, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are required
to achieve the right balance between housing and gardening.
Firstly
, trees
are considered
to be the Earth's lungs. They
naturally
absorb a huge amount of generated CO2 and produce O2 as the
first
key element to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, resulting in breathing a more purified air.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
mainly
looking for a relaxing atmosphere matched with their nature. This prospect will be bleak unless a natural environment
is provided
by planting as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
trees as possible. The reason why this
is assumed
is that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are they able to mitigate the sound pollution,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they
are claimed
to be an effective way to diminish the crime rate.
Finally
, this world belongs to all creatures correlating to each other in a natural cycle. Forests, as one of the most significant
Please check whether a plural form of 'habitat' should be used.
habitat
, have a pivotal role to play to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the irreparable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of changing ecosystem in a long- term.

In conclusion
, although it might seem that housing expansion is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, in my view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should attach great importance to developing green spaces.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Planting trees is very important. some people says that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and town, while others says that housing facilities should be build instead. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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