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People’sshopping habits depend more on theagegroup they belong to than other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

People’sshopping habits depend more on theagegroup they belong to than other factors. v. 2
These days, purchasing style varies among people due to various factors such as age, needs and so on. People are divided in their opinion regarding whether shopping style depends on the age bracket and not other factors. I completely disagree with the notion. Undoubtedly, people go to shopping for different reasons irrespective of age group however, there are two main factors that contributes to shopping habits. Firstly, gender. To illustrate female wants and needs differs from their male counterpart and this could lead to their difference in how they shop. For instance, female have a flair for buying handbags, flashy clothes and so on where, men shop for wristwatches, canvases and jeans. By and large, gender is a major reason for different purchasing norms. Secondly, another main cause is socio-economic status of the consumer. To make clear on this, the ' high' class person go for known brands. They do not go for unbranded products however, main brands are expensive so not every one can afford such a luxury. To exemplify, in the pharmaceutical sector, pfizer and gsk drugs are considered to be high-end drugs and are expensive therefore, not all patient or patients relative can afford it. On the whole, the socio-economic cause also affect people buying habits. In conclusion, humans shopping habits does not only depend on the age group. In addition, several factors such as gender and socio-economic reason of the people also contributes to one' s way of buying things.
These days, purchasing style varies among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
You should probably use "need".
needs
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are divided
in their opinion regarding whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
style depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
bracket and not other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
. I completely disagree with the notion.

Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons irrespective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group
however
, there are two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that contributes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits.
Firstly
, gender. To illustrate female wants and needs differs from their male counterpart and this could lead to their difference in how they shop.
For instance
, female have a flair for buying handbags, flashy clothes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on where,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
shop for wristwatches, canvases and jeans. By and large, gender is a major reason for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purchasing norms.

Secondly
, another main cause is
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
status of the consumer. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
on this, the '
Possible spelling mistake found.
high&
#039;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
person go for known brands. They do not go for unbranded products
however
, main brands are expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
not every one can afford such a luxury. To exemplify, in the pharmaceutical sector,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pfizer
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
gsk
drugs
are considered
to be high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
drugs and are expensive
therefore
, not all patient or patients relative can afford it.
On the whole
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
cause
also
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
buying habits.

In conclusion
, humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group.
In addition
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
such as gender and
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
reason of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
contributes to
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s way of buying things.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay People’sshopping habits depend more on theagegroup they belong to than other factors. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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