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People’s shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

People’s shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. v. 4
The shopping habits of people are influenced by a wide variety of reasons. I reckon that shopping habits of each individual are extremely unique and to categorize them by age would lead to miscalculations for business. I will discuss my views in this essay. I believe the shopping habits of a person reflects their personality which in turn is shaped by their culture, upbringing, childhood influences, interest in fashion and income. These factors influence each and every individual in unique ways. For example, if we observe siblings from a family who are subjected to similar influences during their childhood. Once they grow into adults, they develop tastes, likes and dislikes unique to themselves. I reckon that this observation could be applied universally. I also believe that Income factor plays a prominent role in determining the spending habit of an individual. According to the survey conducted by the Economic times, the spending habits of people belonging to a certain income bracket are comparable. For instance, it is easy to categorize the shopping habits of working class people. The stores the working class people shop often or the products they buy often or the brands they choose can be easily identified and categorized. Secondly, the upbringing of people also plays a pivotal role when it comes to shaping their shopping habits. For example, the people who are brought up by parents following minimalism tend to follow the same practice throughout their entire life. This statement stands true for people whose parents follow the opposite of minimalism. To conclude, i reckon that age group could be considered as a minor factor when it comes to researching, spending habits of people and there are other crucial factors which demand more attention.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are influenced
by a wide variety of reasons. I reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of each individual are
extremely
unique and to categorize them by age would lead to miscalculations for business. I will discuss my views in this essay.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of a person reflects their personality which in turn
is shaped
by their culture, upbringing, childhood influences, interest in fashion and income. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
influence each and every individual in unique ways.
For example
, if we observe siblings from a family who
are subjected
to similar influences during their childhood. Once they grow into adults, they develop tastes, likes and dislikes unique to themselves. I reckon that this observation could
be applied
universally
.

I
also
believe that Income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
plays a prominent role in determining the spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of an individual. According to the survey conducted by the Economic times, the spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
belonging to a certain income bracket are comparable.
For instance
, it is easy to categorize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The stores the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
or the products they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
or the brands they choose can be
easily
identified and categorized.

Secondly
, the upbringing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
plays a pivotal role when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to shaping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are brought
up by parents following minimalism tend to follow the same practice throughout their entire life. This statement stands true for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose parents follow the opposite of minimalism.

To conclude
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
reckon that age group could
be considered
as a minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to researching, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and there are other crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which demand more attention.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay People’s shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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