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People’s opinions differ as to whether or not the usage of computers for educational purpose should be encouraged at schools. Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it v.1

People’s opinions differ as to whether or not the usage of computers for educational purpose should be encouraged at schools. Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it v. 1
Many scientists believe that messages should be delivered to other planets in order to keep in touch with the extraterrestrial life forms, whereas there still remain some disagreement where others argue that it could be risky to contact with them as it is considered as the worse concept. In my opinion, people should not try to understand the revolution of other life forms which is unsafe for the human beings. This essay will highlight both opinions and also elaborate the drawbacks of contacting with the Aliens. To commence with, it is predictable that an intelligent creature could be exist on the other planets, this might be beneficial for the humans. Similarly, delivering a significant information from one planet to another will assist to build a strong connection between the people and the Aliens. Thus, it would not only help to exchange the details, but also support the scientists in order to mitigate the environmental issue via the research. For instance, many films reveal that in space, there will stay a powerful and creative life form. On the other hand, although understanding the evolution of the other planets might be prominent to develop the knowledge, it may be detrimental to the human health and the surroundings. This is because it is redundant that may only waste a plethora of the budget to explore the space. Moreover, this will lead to the threat in the entire world. In conclusion, even though sending email, text to the extraterrestrial creature would help to maintain a healthy relationship, it will also demolish the human identity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientists believe that messages should
be delivered
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with the extraterrestrial life forms, whereas there
still
remain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagreement where others argue that it could be risky to contact with them as it
is considered
as the worse concept. In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should not try to understand the revolution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
life forms which is unsafe for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. This essay will highlight both opinions and
also
elaborate the drawbacks of contacting with the Aliens.

To commence with, it is predictable that an intelligent creature could be
Consider using the past participle "existed"?
exist
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
, this might be beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Similarly
, delivering
'information' is a mass noun (i.e., uncountable). Therefore, the preceding 'a' is probably wrong.
a significant information
from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
to another will assist to build a strong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the Aliens.
Thus
, it would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to exchange the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
support the scientists in order to mitigate the environmental issue via the research.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
films reveal that in space, there will stay a powerful and creative life form.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, although understanding the evolution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
might be prominent to develop the knowledge, it may be detrimental to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
health and the surroundings. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is redundant that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
waste a plethora of the budget to explore the space.
Moreover
, this will lead to the threat in the entire world.

In conclusion
,
even though
sending email, text to the extraterrestrial creature would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to maintain a healthy relationship, it will
also
demolish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
identity.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People’s opinions differ as to whether or not the usage of computers for educational purpose should be encouraged at schools. Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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