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Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of thi v.1

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. 1
The International student ratio is incredibly increasing day by day in universities. Studying abroad became a passion and fashion for many people now. Although seeking education from other countries allow them to gain knowledge about different cultures, it will be challenging for them to adjust to the changes and the expenses. In my opinion, knowing different cultures and language is profoundly an asset despite of the limited difficulties that they will inevitably face. Travelling to a different nation for studies help the students to achieve an awareness about different cultures and languages despite of studying in their own territory. This will make them considerably accommodating to any life situations and obstacles in their future life. For example, when students move from their own comfort zone to an entirely distinct atmosphere, no matter what they have to gear and adapt to the changes there. Therefore the main benefit of studying abroad is that the students tend to blend easily which in turn make them grow fast effortlessly. The main disadvantage that the they face while overseas can be the growing financial burden on them. They have to focus on their studies and find a way to pay their bills and food simultaneously, which can be quite scary for many people. Most of them find difficulty in managing their time and plan their schedules, which is the key to success. For instance, lots of students are working part-time in many restaurants and bakeries even at night shifts to compensate their expenses. In a nutshell, overseas is amazingly accelerating daily. Though there are few drawbacks such as financial overload, the students will definitely benefit their personal growth. In other words, the benefits of studying abroad overbalance the drawbacks.
The International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
ratio is
incredibly
increasing day by day in universities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studying
abroad became a passion and fashion for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Although seeking education from other countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to gain knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures, it will be challenging for them to adjust to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and the expenses. In my opinion, knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and language is
profoundly
an asset
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
the limited difficulties that they will
inevitably
face.

Travelling to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nation for studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to achieve an awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and languages
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
territory. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
considerably
accommodating to any life situations and obstacles in their future life.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
comfort zone to an
entirely
distinct atmosphere, no matter what they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
gear and adapt to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
there.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the main benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to blend
easily
which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
effortlessly
.

The main disadvantage that
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "they"?
the they
face while overseas can be the growing financial burden on them. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on their studies and find a way to pay their bills and food
simultaneously
, which can be quite scary for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Most of them find difficulty in managing their time and plan their schedules, which is the key to success.
For instance
, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are working part-time in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
restaurants and bakeries even at night shifts to compensate their expenses.

In a nutshell, overseas is
amazingly
accelerating daily. Though there are few drawbacks such as financial overload, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will definitely benefit their personal growth.
In other words
, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad overbalance the drawbacks.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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