Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People's live are now surrounded by advertisement. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

People's live are now surrounded by advertisement. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people's lives. v. 1
In the contemporary world, along with the development of technology and society, advertising sector has become an essential part of people's lives. Due to the dominant of advertisement in daily life, some people believe that this phenomenon has exerted a negative impact on what people think. From my point of view, I totally disagree with this statement. On the one hand, advertisement has undoubtedly been offering tremendous benefits to modern life. The first advantage of advertising is that it informs the public about the existence of an item available on the market, therefore giving the customer the full information about the product as well as a wide range of choices before making a purchase. Another benefit of advertisement is that it helps entertain people. To make this clear, nowadays, the advertising industry is considered as a modern art. For example, advertisers instead of traditionally promoting the product on printed newspapers, they now make it into a short introduction video with engaging content. Some advertisements are even produced with high quality of sound and image so that they are enjoyed and appreciated by customers as well as viewers, especially children. On the other hand, with increasing of the popularity of advertisement in the modern age, I believe that this kind of media still presents detrimental consequences concerning with the people's lives in term of people's perception. Advertising might manipulate buyers into buying unnecessary things due to the fact that on the television screen, a product may look more gorgeous and good quality. Moreover, some advertisement can contain unsuitable contents, particularly for young people. For example, some advert may include sexuality or violence which negatively affects children's view. In conclusion, although the positive impacts of advertisement have upon society, I am still convinced that the oversaturation of advertisement can bring negative impacts on individual and society as a whole.
In the contemporary world, along with the development of technology and society, advertising sector has become an essential part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Due to the dominant of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in daily life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this phenomenon has exerted a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. From my point of view, I
totally
disagree with this statement.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has
undoubtedly
been offering tremendous benefits to modern life. The
first
advantage of advertising is that it informs the public about the existence of an item available on the market,
therefore
giving the customer the full information about the product
as well
as a wide range of choices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
. Another benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
entertain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, nowadays, the advertising industry
is considered
as a modern art.
For example
, advertisers
instead
of
traditionally
promoting the product on printed newspapers, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it into a short introduction video with engaging content.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are even produced with high quality of sound and image
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
are enjoyed
and appreciated by customers
as well
as viewers,
especially
children.

On the other hand
, with increasing of the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in the modern age, I believe that this kind of media
still
presents detrimental
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "concerning". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences concerning
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in term of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's perception. Advertising might manipulate buyers into buying unnecessary things due to the fact that on the television screen, a product may look more gorgeous and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
can contain unsuitable contents,
particularly
for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advert may include sexuality or violence which
negatively
affects children's view.

In conclusion
, although the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
have upon society, I am
still
convinced that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
oversaturation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on individual and society as a whole.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay People's live are now surrounded by advertisement. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people's lives. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts