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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. เริ่ม 19: 19 เสร็จ 19: 34 v.11

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. เริ่ม 19: 19 เสร็จ 19: 34 v. 11
Nowadays, there are many types of sports for people to play. Eventually, some people prefer to take part in individual sports such as table tennis or running, but some people only want to participate in the team sports. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinions about these ideas. To begin with, people who participate in the teams will receive several benefits that they sometimes do not realise. First, they will learn to collaborate with others because they have to work as a group such as football. Second of all, they will develop their communication skill, which can be useful for the other activities and something that you are doing regularly such as working or studying. Lastly, it will help an individual learn to accept the differences, people will learn to be patient and open-mined, they will listen to other people's perspectives as well as others' opinions. There are plenty of sports that can be played in a team for instance, basketball, volleyball, football. On the other hand, working out alone is also acceptable. Each person has different tastes and preferences so everything depends on their decisions. There are many individual sports such as cycling, running, boxing and etc. There are plenty of benefits that people can receive from working out alone. First of all, it can boost a self-esteem because people do not have to compare themselves with other people in the teams. Secondly, you can manage everything by yourself without asking people about their thoughts. Finally, you can adjust your plan whenever you feel loads or tired, so you do not have to feel guilty or regret when you cancel the meeting to play a sport in team. However, both types of sports show their strengths. It depends on individuals and preferences. Some people care about their privacy and do not like to be judged and criticism by others, so they decide to work out alone. In contrast, some people like to socialise and feel like they have more fun to participate the activities with others. To conclude, both sports are good, but people should not compare different types of sports because all of them are different. However, they actually have the same purpose, which is to make people become healthy.
Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to play.
Eventually
,
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some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as table tennis or running,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
want to participate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinions about these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who participate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
will receive several benefits that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
.
First
, they will learn to collaborate with others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work as a group such as football. Second of all, they will develop their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, which can be useful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities and something that you are doing
regularly
such as working or studying.
Lastly
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
learn to accept the differences,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will learn to be patient and open-mined, they will listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's perspectives
as well
as others' opinions. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
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sports
that can
be played
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
for instance
, basketball, volleyball, football.

On the
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other
hand, working out alone is
also
acceptable. Each person has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tastes and preferences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everything depends on their decisions. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as cycling, running, boxing
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can receive from working out alone.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it can boost a self-esteem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compare themselves with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
.
Secondly
, you can manage everything by yourself without asking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about their thoughts.
Finally
, you can adjust your plan whenever you feel loads or tired,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
feel guilty or regret when you cancel the meeting to play a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in team.

However
, both types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their strengths. It depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and preferences.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
care about their privacy and do not like to
be judged
and criticism by others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they decide to work out alone.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
and feel like they have more fun to participate the activities with others.

To conclude
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not compare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all of them are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
However
, they actually have the same purpose, which is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become healthy.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. เริ่ม 19: 19 เสร็จ 19: 34 v. 11

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
377 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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